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Band 5.5

The graph and the chart below show the number of students choosing different kinds of courses in a university in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and the chart below show the number of students choosing different kinds of courses in a university in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line diagram delineates the total
number
Use synonyms
 of undergraduates taking different courses in a particular university
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph reveals the gender preference of given choices in 2012. Generally, there were six majors as social
sciences
Use synonyms
 led the chart with the most participants
whereas
Linking Words
agriculture
Use synonyms
 accounted for the least. Based on sexes, female
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled more
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
sciences
Use synonyms
, health, and humanities
while
Linking Words
 male counterparts took up engineering and mathematical science.
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 had the same
number
Use synonyms
 for both genders.
Firstly
Linking Words
 social
sciences
Use synonyms
 comprised of mostly females, reaching 4,000 numerally
while
Linking Words
 males were 1000
students
Use synonyms
 behind.
Next,
Linking Words
the health department exhibited the same tendency with over 1500
students
Use synonyms
 being women and less than 1000
students
Use synonyms
 being men. The same applied to humanities, where the majority of attendees were females, with nearly the same amount yet males being slightly higher at the 1,000 mark. For Engineering, the male
number
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 was more than double that of its counterparts with more than 2,000
students
Use synonyms
 taking the course. Moving onto mathematical science, it experienced a familiar trend with fewer
students
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 in total, 1,500 for males and around 750 for females respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 attracted the least
students
Use synonyms
 but it had an equal
number
Use synonyms
 of both genders attending classes at being 200 approximately. For the total
number
Use synonyms
 of undergraduates, the first came social
sciences
Use synonyms
 with 7,000
then
Linking Words
 Engineering with less than half of the aforementioned subject. Next was health and humanities just reached over 2,000. Science and math took up around 2,000 marks
whereas
Linking Words
 only 400
students
Use synonyms
 took up
agriculture
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, sciences, agriculture, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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