The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The diagrams compare the interior design of a traditional and modern Japanese
house
.
Overall
, the two
houses
both consist of 2 floors with tatami flooring, sliding doors, and futons that can be used as cupboards
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during the daytime and unfolded as mattresses for sleeping purposes at night. Looking at the downstairs sections the the
houses
, upon entering the main and only entrances of the
houses
, we will get to the hall sections which are connected with different areas of the floor. The two
houses
both have a
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
room with tatami flooring and a space to store the futons that can
also
used as a cupboard. The traditional
house
contains a separate kitchen and a big bathroom
while
in the modern
house
, the kitchen and living/dining area are combined into a fluid space in order to maximize daily household activities. Moving on to the upstairs part, the traditional
house
includes 2 traditional bedrooms with flooring and no bathroom. The modern
house
has no traditional bedroom, but
instead
, comprises 3 modern bedrooms and 2 bathrooms with one located inside the primary bedroom.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and summary to better frame and conclude your comparison. This can help provide greater structure and coherence.
task achievement
You should aim for more precise comparisons and use more complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas.
task achievement
Including more specific examples when describing features and differences of the houses will make your arguments stronger and more compelling.
task achievement
You have effectively described and compared the main features of both types of houses with good detail.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is clear, and the essay flows well from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported and articulated, providing a solid comparison of traditional and modern Japanese houses.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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