Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your onion.
Human actions, around the world, have had
a pessimistic consequences
on other life forms Correct the article-noun agreement
pessimistic consequences
a pessimistic consequence
such
as animals and plants. People
have
Verb problem
are
devided
into two groups where Correct your spelling
divided
one
of them think
that Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
this
effects are irreversable, Change the determiner
these
while
another group think that people
can rescue nature
from
. Change preposition
apply
This
essay will discuss both points of view including pessimistic people
's postion
and optimistic Correct your spelling
position
people
's postion
, including me.
Correct your spelling
position
One
Correct your spelling
On
one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
global
population is always increasing and Add an article
the global
require
a bunch of natural Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
resources
including energy
, food , and space which produced
using Add a missing verb
are produced
nature
. People
need food, energy
, resources
and space to live and feeding them with their needs may leed
to deforestation, Correct your spelling
lead
polution
and other harmful activities that are hard to stop entirely. Correct your spelling
pollution
For instance
, every day around 500 thousand people
born
and 200 Add a missing verb
are born
thousan
die Correct your spelling
thousand
that is
why population
always grows and if Correct article usage
the population
whe
consider that it is 5 Correct your spelling
we
people
in one
square meter so it turns out that every day 60000 kilometres of nature
occupied
by Add a missing verb
are occupied
people
and people
also
need energy
, agricultural goods which harms ecosystem
and the Add an article
the ecosystem
nature
itself. Thus
, until people
can invent new ways to save nature
Replace the word
natural
resources
, nature
will be indangered
.
Correct your spelling
endangered
On the other hand
, people
who believe in optimistic
scenario argue that new advancements in technology could help to prevent Correct article usage
an optimistic
nature
. Using new inventions in technology people
can reduce using natural resources
in energy
by changing them with renewable energy
sources such
as wind, solar, water
Correct word choice
and water
energy
. Moreover
, people
can upgrade waste
management technologies which enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
people
to free lots of territory from waste
recycling them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
As a result
, people
would save natural resources
by using renewable energy
and would free a
bunch of space by recycling and Change preposition
up a
waste
management.
In conclusion, human actions led
to harmful consequences for Wrong verb form
lead
nature
and while
some people
think that this
process is irreversable
because Correct your spelling
irreversible
global
population always Correct article usage
the global
rises
and Wrong verb form
rising
people
need to use nature
to live, other
hope that Fix the agreement mistake
others
people
can change this
situation. In my view, people
can mitigate the hamr
that Correct your spelling
harm
hair
nature
receive
from Correct subject-verb agreement
receives
people
by developing technology and inventing new ways to use renewable energy
sources,
and Remove the comma
apply
waste
management. Combining this methods
and Change the determiner
this method
these methods
people
's awareness of this
problem, nature
can be preservedSubmitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on
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Grammar
Pay closer attention to grammar and punctuation to avoid small mistakes that can affect clarity. For instance, 'devide' should be 'divided' and 'leed' should be 'lead.'
Specific Examples
You should aim for more specific and robust examples to support your main points. This can help bolster your argument and make it more persuasive.
Coherence
Work on logical flow and transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help improve the coherence of your essay and make it easier to follow your line of reasoning.
Idea Development
Make sure to fully develop each idea you present. This will make your essay more comprehensive and your arguments more convincing.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
Task Response
The essay includes discussion of both views, which is a good practice for balanced arguments.
Main Points
The use of ongoing advancements in technology as a potential solution is a strong point that showcases innovative thinking.