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Writing Samples
Band 4

What experiences have shaped who you are, how you invest in others, and what kind of leader you want to become?

#experiences #leader
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Looking at my dad building his own business and
then
Linking Words
 failing has encouraged me to pursue entrepreneurship. When I stand in my shoes, building on my own business for 4 years, I realize that business is not only about passion. Passion is important, but what is more meaningful is grit and discipline. As an entrepreneur, I often lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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reference and
do
Verb problem
make
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 mistakes, but from mistakes, I learn a lot and keep trying and looking for the right mentors and networks. Building genuine networks with my circle often helps me to cope when I'm not in a good situation. We never know when we need help from someone and when we can offer help to others. So, I always have a mindset to help my network as long as I can and don’t take it for granted. When I see my entrepreneur friends, they all always have unique traits and
also
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 their own blind spots. We can not be a perfect leader for our team but at least we are progressing to be the better one each day. I really want to be a strategic leader who can make strong decisions but
making
Wrong verb form
make
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 with empathy. We know when we have to use our logic and when use our intuition, balance is the key. Other than that, be a good example. If you want our team to maintain discipline, we as
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
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 have to cultivate it first and let our team mirror our actions later
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction
Consider adding a clear introductory paragraph to set the stage for your essay. This will help the reader understand the context and purpose from the beginning.
conclusion
Include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and reinforces your overall message.
examples
Try to provide a few more specific examples or anecdotes throughout your essay to illustrate your points more vividly.
cohesion
While your ideas are clear, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases can help maintain the flow.
complete response
Your essay presents a comprehensive response to the topic, touching on multiple experiences and insights.
clear ideas
The ideas you put forth are clear and well-rounded, showing your understanding and reflection on the topic.
structure
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of your leadership and personal growth experiences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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