IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the number of tourists who visited oman between 2000 to 2007

The line graph shows the number of tourists who visited oman between 2000 to 2007
#line #tourists #oman
The provided line chart illustrates the number of
tourists
 from Europe and Asia , who visited Oman from 2000 to 2007.
Overall
,by having a cursory glance
on line
Replace the word
at the online
show examples
 chart.It can be clearly seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
European
visitors
 showed
increased
Add an article
an increased
show examples
 trend.
However
, the
visitors
 from Asia showed
decreased
Add an article
a decreased
show examples
 trend. To commence,in 2000, the number of
tourists
 from
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 and
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
 accounted for nearly 200 and 400 respectively.
European’s
Change noun form
European
show examples
tourists
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced
Correct article usage
a steeply
show examples
steeply
Change the word
steep
show examples
incresed
Correct your spelling
increase
 from 2000 until 2002 about 600
visitors
.
Then
,from 2002 to 2003 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
tourists
 witnessed
slowely
Correct your spelling
slowly
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
 500.
However
,
visitors
 from Europe had a dramatic
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 until 2007
approximately
Change preposition
with approximately
show examples
 800
tourists
. Turning to the Asian
visitors
, there was a gradual went up until 2003 about 490 .After that , from 2004 to 2006 , Asian
visitors
 experienced a gradual fluctuation until
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached the bottom
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 300.
Submitted by khulood.92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: