IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years . The graph shows the average number of meals eaten in fast - food restaurants and sit - down restaurants per family .

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years . The graph shows the average number of meals eaten in fast - food restaurants and sit - down restaurants per family .
#show #percentage #food #budget #restaurant #meals #years #restaurants
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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of money
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on home-cooked
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 and outside foods from 1970 to 2000. The unit given is percentages. The line graph displays data on people
preferred
Correct pronoun usage
who preferred
show examples
 eating
juck
Correct your spelling
junk
 food or
dine
Wrong verb form
dining
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
 based on the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
, a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 demand for home cooking seemed to correspond to a higher demand for fast foods and eating out over the recorded period. Looking at the pie chart, in 1970, households enjoyed cooking rather than spending on establishment
meals
Use synonyms
, 90% and 10%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, people started to go out
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to restaurant
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restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 to eat
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980
then
Linking Words
 by 2000, half of the population spent their budget on
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
while
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 half on home-cooked
meals
Use synonyms
. Regarding
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
 graph, both showed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend and
have
Wrong verb form
had
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same digit in the initial year, 20
meals
Use synonyms
 each. In the following year, more people
dine
Wrong verb form
dined
show examples
 in compared to
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
show examples
 out fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 with 35 and 28
meals
Use synonyms
, respectively in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, sitdown
restaurant
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 experienced a soar and
reaching to
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak point at 85
meals
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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 the year's end. As for take out
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
 had a steady rise, at which point reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50
meals
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words restaurant, meals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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