IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •give details of your study plans •explain why you want to get a part- time job •suggest how your friend could help you find a job.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Susan, I hope you are doing well. I'm writing to ask you
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
show examples
 me to find a part-time job. As you know, I'm going to study in another country where you live. Honestly, I'm interested in English.
Hence
Linking Words
, I would like to study at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 university where located in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 country. To assist in covering the cost of my study, I decide to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
part-time job. Not only to pay the cost of college, but
also
Linking Words
 I know that the rental apartment in the city will not be cheap and
besides
Linking Words
 that, I need the money
for purchasing
Change preposition
to purchase
show examples
food. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, I would like to arrange some temporary employment before I arrive. I was wondering if you could ask around among your friends or familiars to see if anyone wants a nanny for their children or
Correct article usage
a house-cleaner
show examples
house-cleaner
Correct your spelling
house cleaner
show examples
. I think you know a lot of people and jobs there. I will be grateful if you help me to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job. I look forward to seeing you soon. Best wishes. Lucy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your study plans to give a complete picture of your intentions. This will help in achieving a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar accuracy to improve logical flow. For example, 'To assist in covering the cost of my study' could be more fluidly stated as 'To help cover my study costs'
task achievement
The tone of the letter is very suitable for a request of this nature. It is polite and friendly.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and help to establish a warm connection with the reader.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: