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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below provide information about the consumption and production of potatoes in five parts of the world in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below provide information about the consumption and production of potatoes in five parts of the world in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given tables illustrate the data about the consumption and manufacture of
potatoes
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 in five
continences
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continents
South & Central
America
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, Africa, North
America
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, Europe and Asia in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some parts had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large
production
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 of
potatoes
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, many
contiences
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countries
 consumed more
potatoes
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. Europe and Asia are the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
places where
produced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
preparation from
potatoes
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, in turn ( lần lượt ) 126.3 and 131.2
million
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tones
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
cosuming
Correct your spelling
consumption
 in Europe,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was lower than that
production
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 with 96.1
kg
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 per
person
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. Asia was a bigger
diffirence
Correct your spelling
difference
, they only consumed 25,8
kg
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potatoes
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 per
person
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. Africa
with
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apply
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a similar data but not much
diffirence
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difference
, 14.1
kg
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 per
person
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 of consumption and 16.4
million
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Use synonyms
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
Use synonyms
production
Change preposition
of production
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. The only two
continences
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continents
 where people consumed
production
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 from
potatoes
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 than constructed were North
America
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 and South & Central
America
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. In North
America
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, only 24.7
million
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Use synonyms
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 of
production
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 compared to 57.9k per
person
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 consume
potatoes
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.
While
Linking Words
 a
person
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 from South & Central
America
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 consumed 23.6kg
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potatoes
Change preposition
of potatoes
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, their parts just manufactured 15.6
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words potatoes, america, production, million, tones, kg, person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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