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Writing Samples
Band 9

The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph illustrates information about the proportion of UK workers in five significant industries in 1841 and 2011. As can be seen, the
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend was decreasing except for two of them.
In contrast
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with the other fields of industry, services and construction showed an upward inclination in 2011. The number for the services was 33% in 1841 which dramatically rose to 81% in 2011.
Also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the construction experienced a gradual increase reaching the amount of 8% in 2011 from the baseline of 5% in 1841.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all other areas faced a decline in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 period of time. The most outstanding decrease belonged to manufacturing and agriculture/fishing which dropped sharply by 2011. Manufacturing fell to 9% from the level of 36% in 1841, and agriculture/fishing came down to 1% from 22% in 1841.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the energy/water industry fell slightly from 3% in 1841 to 1% in 2011. All in all,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the services and the construction grew between 1841 and 2011, other fields of industry had undergone a noticeable drop in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 period.

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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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