It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#duty #governments #children #health #obesity #government #laws #drinks #food #restaurants #measures

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These days

sugar

Use synonyms

are

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show examples

every where I would say that the government should stand in the way of obesity, And add some laws

agains

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against

companies that

made

Wrong verb form

make

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any

prodcuts

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products

product

contains

Correct pronoun usage

that contains

show examples

sugar

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like measuring the level of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugar

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. On the one hand, I advise the companies and

the

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apply

show examples

restaurants to follow the instructions to save children, 's lives but from my perspective

the

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apply

show examples

sugar

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is very sweet and the children

loves

Correct subject-verb agreement

love

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Correct pronoun usage

it ،

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and here comes the role of parents what do I mean, If the parents

asks

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ask

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their child to do

hoemwork

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homework

or some kind of duty

the

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then

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there should be

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award like

bar

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a bar

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of chocolate which obviously has a

sugar

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so they need to manage the balance of

sugar

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that their child

get

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gets

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

Some times

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Sometimes

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the government do not pay attention to the companies which may cause

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apply

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issues like the firms

will

Verb problem

apply

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not

care

Wrong verb form

caring

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about the level of

sugar

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what matter who

sell

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sells

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more me or the company next to us so the government

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apply

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they

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apply

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need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

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to put some

critria

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criteria

about the

sugar

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avoide

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avoid

having

a national obesity problems

Correct the article-noun agreement

a national obesity problem

national obesity problems

show examples

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, People should care about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

anyways

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anyway

show examples

so I believe they need

Submitted by fnokgamer11 on Tue Aug 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Right now, the structure is somewhat unclear.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphs to organize your ideas. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to explain your points thoroughly. Support each argument with relevant examples and detailed explanations.

task achievement

Review basic grammatical rules to avoid errors that can be distracting to the reader. Consider using a spell checker or grammar tool to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

task achievement

Clarify your main ideas. Some parts of the essay seem a bit scattered, and a more focused approach will make your argument stronger.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to back up your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and relatable.

task response

Your essay shows a good effort to tackle a relevant and important issue.

task response

You recognize the roles of both government and parents in addressing the issue of childhood obesity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

199 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity epidemic
preventive measures
public health policy
nutritional standards
sedentary lifestyle
dietary habits
health incentives
junk food regulation
childhood obesity interventions
consumer behavior change
food labeling laws
caloric intake reduction
nutrition education
parental responsibility
health promotion strategies

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It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it causes environment pollution. How far do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books will still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many social media accounts are fake. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries, young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing home with friends. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.