It is the duty of governments to protect children's health by fighting obesity. The government should implement laws against sugary drinks and fast food restaurants and take other measures as well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement.
#duty #governments #children #health #obesity #government #laws #drinks #food #restaurants #measures
These days
sugar
are
every where I would say that the government should stand in the way of obesity, And add some laws Change the verb form
is
agains
companies that Correct your spelling
against
made
any Wrong verb form
make
prodcuts
Correct your spelling
products
product
contains
Correct pronoun usage
that contains
sugar
like measuring the level of the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
.
On the one hand, I advise the companies and the
restaurants to follow the instructions to save children, 's lives but from my perspective Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
is very sweet and the children loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
،
and here comes the role of parents what do I mean, If the parents Correct pronoun usage
it ،
asks
their child to do Change the verb form
ask
hoemwork
or some kind of duty Correct your spelling
homework
the
there should be Correct your spelling
then
a
award like Change the article
an
bar
of chocolate which obviously has a Add an article
a bar
sugar
so they need to manage the balance of sugar
that their child get
.
Change the verb form
gets
On the other hand
, Some times
the government do not pay attention to the companies which may cause Correct your spelling
Sometimes
a
issues like the firms Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
will
not Verb problem
apply
care
about the level of Wrong verb form
caring
sugar
what matter who sell
more me or the company next to us so the government Change the verb form
sells
Correct pronoun usage
apply
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
need
to put some Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
critria
about the Correct your spelling
criteria
sugar
to avoide
having Correct your spelling
avoid
a national obesity problems
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
a national obesity problem
national obesity problems
Nevertheless
, People should care about the
children Correct article usage
apply
anyways
so I believe they needCorrect your spelling
anyway
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Right now, the structure is somewhat unclear.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to organize your ideas. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to explain your points thoroughly. Support each argument with relevant examples and detailed explanations.
task achievement
Review basic grammatical rules to avoid errors that can be distracting to the reader. Consider using a spell checker or grammar tool to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Clarify your main ideas. Some parts of the essay seem a bit scattered, and a more focused approach will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to back up your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and relatable.
task response
Your essay shows a good effort to tackle a relevant and important issue.
task response
You recognize the roles of both government and parents in addressing the issue of childhood obesity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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