Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

These days have witnessed a huge change in the labor market so
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
women
taking jobs in every field some people are angry about
these news
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this news
show examples
and they think
that is
an issue plus there are no benefits for letting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
works
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work
show examples
. From my point of
view
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view,
show examples
I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
have the right to work
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
every where
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everywhere
show examples
they want and as long as they can,
also
they may have capabilities more than the men in their jobs, based on a statistic I have read
on
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in
show examples
a magazine about problems and solutions I have seen that the
women
in 2019
works
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work
show examples
hard
then
the men because of the mind storm
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

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task achievement
Work on providing a clear and comprehensive response to the essay prompt. Make sure you address all parts of the question thoroughly.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearer and more detailed. Elaborate on your points with more specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure. This includes having a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Begin with a strong, well-defined introduction that outlines the main points of the essay. Similarly, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay and reiterates your stance.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more in-depth and specific examples. This will help to substantiate your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Your argument in favor of women having the right to work and their capabilities is strong and well-stated.
task achievement
You referenced a statistic, which shows an attempt to support your argument with evidence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • social justice
  • economic development
  • innovation
  • traditional family roles
  • shared responsibilities
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • decision-making
  • educational opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • traditionalists
  • societal friction
  • gender roles
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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