IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #sales #billions #dollars #games #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph chart shows the number of global
sales
Use synonyms
 during the
years
Use synonyms
 2000 till 2006 of different types of digital
games
Use synonyms
. Handheld
games
Use synonyms
 topped the list each
year
Use synonyms
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 Console
games
Use synonyms
 lost their popularity over the
years
Use synonyms
. Handheld
games
Use synonyms
 started with 11
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2001
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they continued to grow steadily over the
years
Use synonyms
 and reached 18
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
sales
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006. Console
games
Use synonyms
, which started at 6
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000 lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 fanbase over the
years
Use synonyms
 and showed a significant decrease each
year
Use synonyms
 till
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached 3
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006. Even though online
games
Use synonyms
 had no relevance till 2001 they suddenly gained popularity over the
years
Use synonyms
 and showed a steady increase in
sales
Use synonyms
 starting from 1
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2002 to approximately 9
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006. Mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 which started to gain relevance in the same
year
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and had the same
sales
Use synonyms
 as online
games
Use synonyms
, showed a significant increase in the
year
Use synonyms
 2003 and reached 3
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 Online
games
Use synonyms
 grew more popularity than mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 in 2005, mobile
phones
Change the noun form
phone
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 a steady increase since 2004 and have crossed 7
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Handheld
games
Use synonyms
 have been ever growing
whereas
Linking Words
 new methods of gaming are coming to light.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, years, games, year, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global sales
  • digital games
  • billions of dollars
  • consistent increase
  • significant decrease
  • notable spikes
  • market share
  • growth trends
  • internet accessibility
  • gaming technology
  • sales figures
  • game types
  • bar chart
  • data analysis
  • proportions
  • observed trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: