Today more and more tourists are visitin places where conditions are difficult , such as sahara desertor the Antartica. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places.

#tourists #visitin #places #conditions #sahara #desertor #antartica #visit

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At the present time, many visitors visit difficult conditions like the Sahara desert the Antarctica. Some people believe these sites have positive effects,

while

others say deserts have drawbacks efforts. In

this

essay, I will explore the advantages that outnumber the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are several pros to visiting the Sahara desert or

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Antarctica. The majority effect is the social side. individuals learn some attitudes from hard environments

such

as patience.

For example

, my brother and his team

last

two months went to the desert. Unfortunately, they lost 1 calon of water ,

whereas

, they divided 500 ml of water between them.

In addition

, the public visits hard places to learn certain sciences like geography and biography. A clear example is learning parts of animals or plants and how could adapt to

this

environment.

On the other hand

, negative effects play a significant role for tourists. To demonstrate more, deserts produce high temperatures and many nations can not stay there for over three hours.

For instance

, children who go with their parents, feel tired and need to relax.The foremost reason they suffer illness is breathing. To illustrate, these places do not provide hospitals or clinics. In conclusion, I strongly believe the merits of visiting difficult places outweigh the demerits.

Therefore

, people enjoy a new adventure by learning good morals and cooperating with their team.

Moreover

, the station creates a chance to connect with a variety of people.

Submitted by lailakhalil3 on Tue Aug 20 2024

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task achievement

While you have addressed the task and provided both advantages and disadvantages, try to dive deeper into each point with more specific examples and analyses. This can make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a commendable logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, it can be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. Use more linking phrases to help the flow.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are grammatically incorrect or unclear, for example: 'Unfortunately, they lost 1 calon of water.' Paying attention to minor grammatical details and choosing clearer vocabulary will enhance your readability.

task achievement

Include a more detailed example in the paragraph discussing social sides and patience. It would make your argument more robust.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and sets up your essay well. It succinctly presents the topic and your stance.

supported main points

You have included a variety of relevant points, such as social learning and environmental adaptations, which are good for supporting your main ideas.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion is clear and effectively summarises your stance, highlighting key points discussed in the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

241 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

thrilling experience
harsh conditions
rugged terrains
personal growth
resilience
limited accessibility
emergency services
unspoiled nature
pristine environments
environmental degradation
fragile ecosystems
cultural experiences
scientific insights
indigenous tribes
unique wildlife
lack of basic amenities
cultural norms
sense of prestige
exclusivity
significant preparation

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Today more and more tourists are visitin places where conditions are difficult , such as sahara desertor the Antartica. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree?

Some cities create new housing for their growing populations by constructing a small number of high-rise buildings. Other cities create more of low-rise buildings. Which solution is better, in your opinion

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more commonplace than face-to-face meetings. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people feel young people should follow traditions of their societies, others believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.