The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.
The bar chart illustrates the number of male and female
students
in full-time and part-time studies respectively in
further
education in Britain in three different time periods, namely 1970/71, 1980/81, and 1990/91.
Overall
, part-time education accounted for the majority of the population, both men and women in all years.
In contrast
to the number of full-time
students
, which had been less than 300 thousand in all categories, that of part-time
students
had maintained at least 700,000 each time. Another point to note is that the male population of part-time
students
fluctuated over time
while
that of full-time
students
doubled from about 100,000 to 150,000, and to over 200,000. In detail, there were approximately a million men in part-time schooling in 1970/71, but the figure decreased to nearly 0.9 million in 1980/81, followed by a slight increase a decade later.
Finally
, the number of female
students
in both part-time and full-time schooling experienced a continuous growth in the 20 years.
Moreover
, the female population in part-time witnessed a significant rise from about 750,000 to over 800,000, and to 1,100,000, which was approximately 1.5 times the figure at the start.
However
, only a small increase from about 50,000 to over 200,000 was seen in full-time.
Submitted by nanakoueda0726 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time education
  • part-time education
  • further education
  • gender comparison
  • trend analysis
  • notable increase
  • decrease
  • consistent trend
  • educational patterns
  • substantial differences
  • preferences
  • evolve
  • societal factors
  • economic influences
  • accessibility
  • job market
  • gender roles
  • projections
  • implications
  • educational policy
  • workforce development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: