Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g; goods, services, news) why is this? Is it positive or negative development?
Nowadays, people desire to achieve their needs as soon as possible.
This
phenomenon which is happening in the present ever-changing world
, and I think is completely
positive one, could have many reasons Add an article
a completely
that
some of Correct word choice
apply
them
will be discussed below.
To commence with, trying to obtain the wants instantly, is one of the Correct pronoun usage
which
world
’s trends. In the present leading hasty world
, information is transforming wealth and money, and the observers of this
stream try to match themselves with
. Correct pronoun usage
with it
This
data stream could shape individuals’ lives drastically. As
Change preposition
For
an
instance, Instagram’s Correct article usage
apply
influencers
main focus Change noun form
influencers'
influencer's
to achieve
incomeChange preposition
on achieving
,
is through providing new viewpoints about the presented trends in any shape or form.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, the scientific universe matches itself with the newest and prominent
advances, and Correct quantifier usage
most prominent
this
adoption requires being up-to- date
. Specifically, the achievements of technology or medicine, require Correct your spelling
up-to-date
to obtain
the Change the verb form
obtaining
last
contemporary data to synchronization
with the hectic Replace the word
synchronise
world
. For example
, in
the period of COVID pandemic, Change preposition
during
the
famous bio-chemical labsCorrect article usage
apply
,
tried to share their Remove the comma
apply
last
findings about vaccines with Correct word choice
latest
the
other experimental trials through Correct article usage
apply
internet
. Add an article
the internet
Specially
, Rephrase
In particular
this
information contributions
allowed them to save the human kinds’ lives from devastation.
In Fix the agreement mistake
contribution
the
nutshell, the Correct article usage
a
world
is providing new achievements, and synchronization with the leading knowledge and trends, requires the
up-to-date data to acquire wealth. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, another reason could be about science and technology acquisitions, which hand to
hand try to share the newest information to save Change preposition
in
the
humans all around the Correct article usage
apply
world
.Submitted by aksoysana on
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your thoughts into clear and distinct paragraphs. This will help create a more logical structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your sentence structure and clarity. Simple, clear sentences can sometimes convey your ideas more effectively and reduce the risk of confusing the reader.
task achievement
Ensure that you maintain consistent and accurate use of grammar and vocabulary throughout your essay. This will enhance the readability and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed the reasons behind the increasing desire for instantaneous fulfillment and highlighted both technological and practical aspects.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as Instagram influencers and the COVID pandemic, adds credibility and relevance to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument nicely.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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