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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information bt selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information bt selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The line graph compared the number of people
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
four
Use synonyms
 distinct
countries
Use synonyms
 during
30-year
Add an article
a 30-year
the 30-year
show examples
 period and a prediction
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the next decade.
Overall
Linking Words
,the
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 saw a
paralled
Correct your spelling
parallel
paralleled
 trend,the rate of people living in
cities
Use synonyms
 increased
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2020
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and predicted persistently grow in the next 20 years.
However
Linking Words
,the percentage of city
citizents
Correct your spelling
citizens
of Malaysia
rank
Change the verb form
ranks
show examples
 highest among the
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
. In 1970,the amount of city citizens in Malaysia and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 approximately 30,ranking the highest among the
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the figure in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 faced ups and downs,the percentage of the population
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia is far higher than
Phillippines
Correct article usage
the Phillippines
show examples
,
peaked
Wrong verb form
peaking
show examples
 at 85% in 2040. The population
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 of Thailand steadily clined to 30% in 2000,
equdling
Correct your spelling
equaling
 the amount for Indonesia,
thereafter
Linking Words
,being overtaken by Indonesia in the subsequent 40 years.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, four, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • trend
  • percentage
  • urban population
  • actual data
  • predictions
  • steady increase
  • striking difference
  • projection
  • fluctuation
  • contributing factors
  • demographic changes
  • socio-economic development
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