IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below contains information provided by Australia's tertiary insititutions about the percentage of male and female students who enrolled in different subjects in 1995.

The chart below contains information provided by Australia's tertiary insititutions about the percentage of male and female students who enrolled in different subjects in 1995.
#information #australia #insititutions #percentage #students #subjects
The bar chart given
draw
Correct subject-verb agreement
draws
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 conclusion about the number of male and female students who enrolled in different types of programs delivered by Australia's tertiary
insititutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 in 1995.
Overall
, it can be seen from the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
graph that Adult man more
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in Engineering
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
,
while
 females are more enrolled in Arts and
Hummanities
Correct your spelling
Humanities
 Lessons. Turning to
male
Add an article
the male
show examples
 chart, we can observe that Engineering
hed
Correct your spelling
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of
man
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
 learners with
rate
Add an article
a rate
show examples
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 20% in 1995. Engineering is followed by Maths and Sciences as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
seconed
Correct your spelling
second
 most male pupils,which is
exercied
Correct your spelling
exercised
 by more than 10%.
In contrast
, Business studies and Education
hed
Correct your spelling
had
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 preferable modules over the period. Taking a closer look
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
female
Add an article
the female
show examples
 chart,we can see that the highest rate of women was in Arts and
Hummanities
Correct your spelling
Humanities
, being around 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the total in 1995.
whereas
 to the male preferences, Health was chosen by more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
triple of all
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
.
Although
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
adult
Change preposition
of adult
show examples
 females who entered Maths and Sciences is roughly twice less than that of
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.With slight
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in engineering studies among the two genders. A small
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
 rate in Business studies between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, just over 5% by 1995.
Submitted by emannabilalmanthari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: