The use of social media is becoming increasing common among all age groups. what do you think advantages and disadvantages of this trend ?
Nowadays, social
media
platforms are utilised by various people
irrespective of their age
category. This
trend
contains a number of benefits such
as easy access
to the latest information
as well as
ample business opportunities. The potential drawbacks are getting addicted and gaining misinformation.
To commence with, the foremost advantage of social media
is rapid access
to new information
. The consumption of social media
is surging among all age
groups people
from young to elders due to
the easy and fastest availability of any news which provides them fair
idea about what is happening around the world. The easy Add an article
a fair
access
to information
provides a certain degree of comfort to them and because of this
, it is preferred by every age
group individual to stay connected with distinct applications of social media
. Furthermore
, this
kind of application is producing new business opportunities for the masses. People
are promoting and generating numerous products which in return yield them followers , thus
creating cash flow from these followers by selling different products through promotion on these media
software.
on the other hand
, this
trend
has plentiful drawbacks; addiction and wrongful information
. Every age
group individual are
getting addicted to social Change the verb form
is
media
applications such
as,
Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Remove the comma
apply
This
has become a common trend
among every individual that after walking up and before going to bed people
are scrolling their Instagram and Facebook to relax their perplexed mind leading them towards an addiction to these sofwtares. Consequently
, cases of diseases like insomnia are rapidly surging in every age
group people
. Secondly
, spreading misinformation on social platforms is a common practice and one cannot identify the authenticity of news sources. So, one has to check the sources before accepting the information
which could lead to consumption of extra time.
In conclusion, the trend
of social media
utilisation has some advantages such
as providing business-promoting opportunities and rapid access
to the latest information
where as the drawbacks are a major concerns
because of the addiction and misrepresentation of news on these applications.Fix the agreement mistake
concern
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complete response
Your task response is generally good. You have successfully responded to the task, discussed both the advantages and disadvantages, and provided relevant examples. However, you could enhance your score by incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on your points further.
logical structure
Your coherence and cohesion could be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Occasionally, the flow is interrupted by abrupt shifts. Using more cohesive devices and signposting words will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences are unclear due to minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. For instance, 'leading them towards an addiction to these sofwtares' could be clearer if rephrased as 'leading to an addiction to these platforms.' Paying careful attention to sentence structure and clarity will help improve comprehension.
relevant specific examples
To improve your examples, ensure they are specific and relevant to your main points. Avoid vague statements and provide concrete illustrations where possible. For instance, you could mention a scenario where misinformation on social media had real-world consequences.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
supported main points
Main points are logically presented and are generally supported with examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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