Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experienc
In
this
contemporary epoch, a larger proportion of individuals believe that the government
should take the responsibility of providing support to older people
while
critics say that humans should save money
during their life
to use that during their golden days. In my opinion, saving is better
option as it could teach individuals Add an article
a better
the better
value
of Add an article
the value
money
during their life
. This
essay will delve into the reasons behind this
statement and will lead to logical
conclusion as well.
Add an article
a logical
To begin
with, the most prominent reason that executives should provide funds to old people
is the taxes that they paid to rulers throughout their life
. Humans pay numerous taxes to the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
government
such
as GST and HST which must provide the benefits to public during their old time. These returns could be rendered to them in form
of Correct article usage
the form
pensions
.
However
, if it becomes the total liability of the rulers to provide pensions
, it could put an
extra pressure on the country managers. They already have relentless issues to deal with Remove the article
apply
such
as health and education sectors. Moreover
, public
should save Add an article
the public
money
during their young days to utilize that during the time when they grow old. It will help them to protect themselves from overspending and will also
help to alleviate the poverty and inflation in nation
.
In my opinion, it is accurate to say that Correct article usage
the nation
people
should be liable to save money
for their pensions
because it will not only reduce pressure on the government
but will also
encourage humans to manage and save money
. Saving money
during young
age could Correct article usage
a young
asist
Correct your spelling
assist
people
to live a serene and luxuries
Replace the word
luxurious
life
during last
days.
Correct article usage
the last
To conclude
, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that if the higher officials provide pensions
, it is helpful as people
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
money
back that they paid in form
of taxes. Correct article usage
the form
Besides
, if pension
is Add an article
the pension
a pension
person's
own responsibility it minimizes stress on Correct article usage
a person's
government
and will help the public Correct article usage
the government
to
manage their earning in an accurate Verb problem
apply
mannner
.Correct your spelling
manner
Submitted by ss6802125 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay can benefit from more specific examples to support the main points. For instance, a personal experience or detailed statistics can make the argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary sentence structures and use more transition words to improve the flow and coherence of your essay. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear opinion supported by reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay, contributing to a coherent structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.