IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that the Olympic Games is an exciting event and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #olympic #games #event #nations #waste #money
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The chart reports the information about main reasons for using phones. There is teenagers’
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 collected through surveys in
one
 African country between 2016 and 2019. The surveys give four categories of using phones. The dominant
one
 is Social networks.
This
 field remains the most popular reason to stay online.
However
, the number of respondents who
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 Email letters
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 diminished stable during the reporting period. The percentage of Phone callers fell
down
Change preposition
apply
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sharply
last
 year
whereas
 the percentage of Digital camera users has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant
Change the word
significantly
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 increase. The first
one
 has lost 2% in 2018 and 6% in 2019, the second
one
’s growth came to 5% during the analogous period. The Email part decreased from 25% in the beginning to 19% and Social networks have got these 6% as the difference between 2016 and 2019.
It
Correct pronoun usage
One
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 should be noted
one
 tendency: African teenagers prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
modern ways of communication
instead
 of traditional. The sum of Digital camera and Social
networks
Fix the agreement mistake
network
show examples
 segments reached the level of 76%
users
Change preposition
of users
show examples
 in 2019 starting from 65% in 2016
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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clearer introduction that states the purpose of the essay more explicitly, such as summarizing the chart content and the time frame.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly from one point to the next. Linking words and phrases could enhance the coherence and cohesion further.
supported main points
Add more specific examples or figures from the chart to support your points clearly and accurately.
complete response
Your essay covers all the main points and categories presented in the chart, which shows a good understanding of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have demonstrated an ability to describe trends and changes in data over time, showing competence in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promoting peace
  • unity
  • sportsmanship
  • global stage
  • mutual respect
  • understanding
  • boosts the economy
  • host city
  • tourism
  • infrastructure development
  • global media exposure
  • financial burden
  • ROI (Return on Investment)
  • debt
  • pressing social issues
  • poverty
  • education
  • healthcare
  • legacy
  • long-term health benefits
  • white elephants
  • expensive stadiums
  • facilities
  • post-Games
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