It is very expensive to restore old buildings,and it would be better to spend this money on new houses .To what extent do you agree ?

Today we
want
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won't
show examples
talk
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to talk
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about
refurbishmant
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refurbishment
refurbishments
buildings, you know
resorte
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resort
or
make
Wrong verb form
making
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a new
house
is very important for some reason, At
the
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apply
show examples
first,
when you make a new
house
many
of
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apply
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people or
worker
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workers
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can work in that case,
on the other
hand
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hand,
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you help to
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society
socitey
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society
Secondly
, noweday we
are face
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are faced
show examples
with
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an increase
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increase crowded
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increased crowd
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especially in
capital
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the capital
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of towns,
therefore
many
of
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apply
show examples
pepople
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people
need to
house
, if you dont make
new
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a new
show examples
many
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one many
show examples
of them become homeless.
According to
study
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a study
show examples
aroud
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around
85
percent
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per cent
show examples
of people live in
appartment
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apartment
apartments
and it is
warness
Correct your spelling
awareness
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
.
On the other
hand
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hand,
show examples
new hose have a new technology for energy saving and they are modern architect, If you compare
new
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a new
show examples
house
with
refurbishment
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a refurbishment
show examples
house
undrestant
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understand
new
house
for
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
design,new technology
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc is better. Best
regarsd
Correct your spelling
regards
regard
Submitted by zohmoz93 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and detailed examples. It would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by organizing ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and provides supporting details.
task achievement
Use specific examples and data to support your points. This will help make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Proofread for grammatical errors, unclear sentences, and typos. This will help improve readability and overall clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the importance of building new houses and mentions several key points such as employment opportunities and the need for housing in crowded cities.
task achievement
The essay discusses relevant points about modern technology and architecture in new houses, which is a relevant consideration in the debate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical significance
  • Architectural style
  • Craftsmanship
  • Sustainable
  • Minimize
  • Energy efficiency
  • Housing shortages
  • Affordable options
  • Stimulate local economies
  • Tourism
  • Restoration industries
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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