It is very expensive to restore old buildings,and it would be better to spend this money on new houses .To what extent do you agree ?
Today we
want
Correct your spelling
won't
talk
about Add the particle
to talk
refurbishmant
buildings, you know Correct your spelling
refurbishment
refurbishments
resorte
or Correct your spelling
resort
make
a new Wrong verb form
making
house
is very important for some reason,
At Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
first,
when you make a new Linking Words
house
many Use synonyms
of
people or Change preposition
apply
worker
can work in that case, Fix the agreement mistake
workers
on the other
Linking Words
hand
you help to Add the comma(s)
hand,
Correct your spelling
society
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
Secondly
, noweday we Linking Words
are face
with Change the verb form
are faced
Correct article usage
an increase
increase crowded
especially in Replace the word
increased crowd
capital
of towns, Add an article
the capital
therefore
many Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
pepople
need to Correct your spelling
people
house
, if you dont make Use synonyms
new
Correct article usage
a new
many
of them become homeless.
Correct pronoun usage
one many
According to
Linking Words
study
Correct article usage
a study
aroud
85 Correct your spelling
around
percent
of people live in Change the spelling
per cent
appartment
and it is Correct your spelling
apartment
apartments
warness
Correct your spelling
awareness
to
Change preposition
in
socitey
.
Correct your spelling
society
On the other
Linking Words
hand
new hose have a new technology for energy saving and they are modern architect,
If you compare Add a comma
hand,
new
Correct article usage
a new
house
with Use synonyms
refurbishment
Correct article usage
a refurbishment
house
Use synonyms
undrestant
new Correct your spelling
understand
house
for Use synonyms
new
design,new technology Add an article
a new
the new
and
etc is better.
Best Correct word choice
apply
regarsd
Correct your spelling
regards
regard
Submitted by zohmoz93 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and detailed examples. It would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by organizing ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and provides supporting details.
task achievement
Use specific examples and data to support your points. This will help make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Proofread for grammatical errors, unclear sentences, and typos. This will help improve readability and overall clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the importance of building new houses and mentions several key points such as employment opportunities and the need for housing in crowded cities.
task achievement
The essay discusses relevant points about modern technology and architecture in new houses, which is a relevant consideration in the debate.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.