IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the life circle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

The diagrams below show the life circle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
The process gives information on how a large fish called
salmon
Use synonyms
 lives throughout its
life
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
life
Use synonyms
 circle of the
salmon
Use synonyms
 comprises three main stages: a period in an upper
river
Use synonyms
, a lower
river
Use synonyms
, and an open sea. In the beginning,
salmon
Use synonyms
 eggs are kept in the upper
river
Use synonyms
 with slow movement. They stay there among stones and reeds and spend around a half-year. Once they have become fry, whose size is 3-8 centimetres, they start to live in the fast-flowing lower
river
Use synonyms
. Following four years of
life
Use synonyms
 in the lower
river
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, they become a smolt, which stunts in 15 cm. The five years of
life
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 in an open sea they spend as an adult
salmon
Use synonyms
, which lengthens by approximately 70-76 cm. In the final step, the adult salmons head to the upper
river
Use synonyms
 to reproduce and incubate new eggs.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, life, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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