Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services

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To develop a nation and for its continued growth governments around the world spend a significant amount of money on music, theatre and public services. It is believed by some people that the revenue collected by the government should be directed towards public services. I agree that it will be a rational decision to fund the public sector over recreational activities. Financial contribution in the field of art will not only help to preserve national culture and folk but

also

uplift the

overall

nation’s rank.

Submitted by harshbhardwaj155 on Wed Aug 21 2024

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task achievement

You have made a good start by outlining your position clearly. However, your essay would benefit from a more comprehensive development of ideas. Make sure to support your arguments with relevant and specific examples to achieve a higher score in task response.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that there is a clear logical flow between your points. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and transition smoothly to the next one. Furthermore, a well-defined conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your main points would make your essay more cohesive.

task achievement

Your introduction is clear and sets the stage well for your argument. It makes your position on the topic clear from the beginning.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a balanced opinion, recognizing the importance of investing in both arts and public services. This show your ability to consider multiple perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

85 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

nowadays, people are purchasing too many unnecessary goods. how it influences individuals and society? is it a negative or positive development?

Despite the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.