The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
believe that the main aim of science should be increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
individuals
live access. Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
While
it is important to improve our lives
, I totally dissagree
with the idea that Correct your spelling
disagree
scientist
should Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
be
spend their effort and time only thinking about Unnecessary verb
apply
people
.
There are several reason
why I would argue Change to a plural noun
reasons
againist
about the main aim. Our Correct your spelling
against
ancetors
have tried to Correct your spelling
ancestors
making
peoples Change the verb
make
life
's immortal. However
, we are not eternal subjects. Firstly
, we are not only living beings in
our planet. I understand the vision about how important Change preposition
on
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
life
quality but all this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things
relative
to each other. Add a missing verb
are relative
For example
, if scientist
try to prevent climate change or global warming, many living Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
species
' (both animals and plants) life
Replace the word
live
make
longer and it Verb problem
apply
also
provide
a beneficial effect on human beings. Our source Change the verb form
provides
for
food will improve and it Change preposition
of
makes
our food chain expand.
Wrong verb form
will make
Secondly
, human beings do not only emotional
features in the world, some research shows that even plants Add a missing verb
have emotional
has
Change the verb form
have
a
some emotions. If we think Remove the article
apply
just
our Change preposition
of just
lives
, I do not think it is provide
longer Change the verb form
provides
life
us
. We think every Change preposition
for us
species
in our world to make life
balance
. If we Wrong verb form
balanced
success
Replace the word
succeed
about make
our planet balance Change preposition
in making
in
Change preposition
apply
steadly
, it enhance and Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
people
's social lives
. Water contamination and air pollution has been increased recent
Change preposition
in recent
decade
. Why should Fix the agreement mistake
decades
scientist
think only Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
Change preposition
of human
human
in Fix the agreement mistake
humans
this
case? As I mentionedCorrect pronoun usage
apply
this
, if scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
find
Change the verb form
finds
climate
solution our source Correct article usage
a climate
for
air and water might Change preposition
of
be heal
and it Change the verb form
be healed
is
affect even tiny Verb problem
will
species
in our world.
In conclusion, there are so many problems in out
Correct your spelling
our
lives
and scientist
main goal should be Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
think
Fix the infinitive
to think
every
Change preposition
about every
species
Change noun form
species'
life
quality in
our planet. If they act like Change preposition
on
this
, people
Change noun form
people's
lives
improve eventually.Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but try to refine your thesis statement to make your position more explicit. For example, you could say, 'While improving people's lives is important, I believe scientific efforts should encompass a broader range of objectives.'
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, when discussing climate change, you can provide specific data or cite studies that show how environmental protection benefits human life directly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and focus on clear, concise writing. Your arguments can be improved by reducing redundancy and being more direct.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is directly related to your thesis. Some paragraphs meander from the main point, which can affect overall cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses a pertinent and thought-provoking issue, and you have made a clear attempt to answer the question.
task achievement
You show awareness of a broad range of issues related to science and its impact on the world, which enriches your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, moving from one point to the next in a coherent manner.