The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar chart compares the percentages of hired people in seven kinds of occupations and genders in Australia

last

Linking Words

year. As can be seen from the bar graph, there are more

men

Use synonyms

hired than

women

Use synonyms

in five types of

jobs

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

only dominated two kinds of vocation. The most popular

jobs

Use synonyms

for

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

were clerical and professional,

while

Linking Words

the least welcomed job was labour.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is obvious that

men

Use synonyms

had higher numbers in five categories of

jobs

Use synonyms

that are all over 400,000. Tradespeople were the most welcomed by

men

Use synonyms

, with the number of 900,000.

However

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

had a comparatively low number in the same kind by 100,000.

On the contrary

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

had the highest figure at almost 1000,000 for working in clerical

jobs

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, professionals were the second highest job occupied by

women

Use synonyms

at 700.000.

wendy190427Thu Aug 22 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, jobs with synonyms.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

141 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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