Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether
students
should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focus on their main
subjects
or learn about other
subjects
.
While
learning
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new subject
new subjects
show examples
subjects
sometimes be a good effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
our resume, I believe that focusing and mastering in main
subjects
are more important. On the one hand, especially
corparate compaines
Correct your spelling
corporate companies
want their
employee's
Change noun form
employees
show examples
as qualified as they could reach.
Thus
, in some
job-markets
Correct your spelling
job markets
show examples
studying a new subject is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
to provide
employers
Change noun form
employers'
employer's
show examples
wishes.
For instance
, if you are going to be a journalist in Turkey, you should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
study history or media
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
make your resume stronger and enhance your
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. I believe that
this
argument
Add a verb
argument is
argument was
show examples
generally true for social sciences in
underpirivileged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
communities. Because, social sciences
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not offer a good salary
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in middle or
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
students
try to improve their job
oppurtinites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
learning
Change preposition
by learning
show examples
new
subjects
in similar
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more important
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
students
focus on their main subject and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost professional in their work area. It does not matter if they study in social
sicences
Correct your spelling
sciences
science
or sciences, every career candidate should make sure they learn particular
subjects
and
talented
Add a missing verb
are talented
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solving
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in their main
subjects
. If they do not
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their main
subjects
, when they
applied
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
, it does not matter how many graduate
dagree
Correct your spelling
degree
degrees
they have. In conclusion, I can understand why
students
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
about learning new
subjects
, but it seems to me that
a become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
a
porfeesional
Correct your spelling
professional
in one subject always better in adult life.
Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument stated in the introduction.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Take care to correct grammatical errors and typos to improve readability.
task achievement
The essay presents both views effectively and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear sense of the essay's direction and wrapping it up effectively.
task achievement
There are relevant examples, such as the reference to journalists in Turkey, which enrich the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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