Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People have different views about whether
students
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should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focus on their main
subjects
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or learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
learning
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new subject
new subjects
show examples
subjects
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sometimes be a good effect
to
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on
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our resume, I believe that focusing and mastering in main
subjects
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are more important. On the one hand, especially
corparate compaines
Correct your spelling
corporate companies
want their
employee's
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employees
show examples
as qualified as they could reach.
Thus
Linking Words
, in some
job-markets
Correct your spelling
job markets
show examples
studying a new subject is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
to provide
employers
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employers'
employer's
show examples
wishes.
For instance
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, if you are going to be a journalist in Turkey, you should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
study history or media
for
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to
show examples
make your resume stronger and enhance your
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
argument
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argument is
argument was
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generally true for social sciences in
underpirivileged
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underprivileged
communities. Because, social sciences
does
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do
show examples
not offer a good salary
especially
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, especially
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in middle or
low income
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low-income
show examples
countires
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countries
,
so
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apply
show examples
students
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try to improve their job
oppurtinites
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opportunities
learning
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by learning
show examples
new
subjects
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in similar
area
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areas
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is perhaps even more important
to
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for to
show examples
students
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focus on their main subject and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost professional in their work area. It does not matter if they study in social
sicences
Correct your spelling
sciences
science
or sciences, every career candidate should make sure they learn particular
subjects
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and
talented
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are talented
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solving
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in their main
subjects
Use synonyms
. If they do not
became
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become
show examples
a
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their main
subjects
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, when they
applied
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
in
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for
show examples
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
, it does not matter how many graduate
dagree
Correct your spelling
degree
degrees
they have. In conclusion, I can understand why
students
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being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
about learning new
subjects
Use synonyms
, but it seems to me that
a become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
a
porfeesional
Correct your spelling
professional
in one subject always better in adult life.
Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument stated in the introduction.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Take care to correct grammatical errors and typos to improve readability.
task achievement
The essay presents both views effectively and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear sense of the essay's direction and wrapping it up effectively.
task achievement
There are relevant examples, such as the reference to journalists in Turkey, which enrich the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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