IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don’t want to do, or don't have time to do, for example household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things for themselves?

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IIn
Correct your spelling
In
this
Linking Words
 modern world
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from their busy schedules , It is a common trend to delegate some non-specialized
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to third parties. From my perspective, it not only could provide job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for some other
people
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 it could lead to
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance. To launch into
this
Linking Words
 topic, offering some simple
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to other
people
Use synonyms
 could provide some employment opportunities and improve their economic
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. To illustrate more, we can imagine some students, single parents and
disadvantages
Wrong verb form
disadvantaged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who need to
supply
Verb problem
meet
show examples
 their requirements by working in simple positions
such
Linking Words
 as taking care of children or household chores. Needless to mention, they not only could manage their lives, but
also
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 their
self-confidences
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
show examples
 and financial
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 will be strengthened.
Furthermore
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, delegating some usual
tasks
Use synonyms
 to others can increase
crowd’s
Correct article usage
the crowd’s
show examples
 productivity.
For instance
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, when
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 support each other in their duties, they can
concentrated
Change the verb form
be concentrated
concentrate
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 more on their specialized or enjoyable missions and
consequently
Linking Words
 their quality of
tasks
Use synonyms
 will be elevated.
For example
Linking Words
, I asked a woman to take care of my
8 year old
Add a hyphen
8-year-old
show examples
 daughter
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 summer days, so my stress level decreased
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 and I could free up my mind and
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 on my job.
Therefore
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, outsourcing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mundane
tasks
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as household chores can improve the quality of life and
allocated
Wrong verb form
allocate
show examples
 specialized
tasks
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, it is logical to ask some others to assist us in our parental and household responsibilities. Since we provide some job opportunities to others and
also
Linking Words
 do our
tasks
Use synonyms
 efficiently.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay in clear paragraphs. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but can be made clearer with a distinct paragraph spacing. This will improve your essay's readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. Use more transitional phrases to connect your thoughts smoothly and make sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next one.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid small grammatical inaccuracies and typographical errors; they can slightly detract from the overall quality of your essay. Proofreading can help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which encapsulate the main points of your essay well.
coherence cohesion
You’ve maintained a coherent argument throughout the essay. Your points are logically organized and follow a clear structure.
task achievement
Your ideas are comprehensive and you’ve provided relevant examples that make your argument convincing.
task achievement
You've effectively highlighted the benefits of delegating tasks both in terms of providing employment and improving personal productivity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment opportunities
  • specialization
  • productivity
  • work-life balance
  • economic benefits
  • independent contractors
  • life skills
  • self-sufficiency
  • financial expense
  • job creation
  • delegate tasks
  • time management
  • personal well-being
  • stress alleviation
  • household chores
  • flexible work
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