Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Relocating from a hometown to a new living place is a great alternative in order to align with individual work's purposes.
However
,it is argued that there are both possible strengths and weaknesses of
this
trend, which are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are a plethora of benefits to
this
. Moving to a new accommodation near the workplace might be a great change on purposes for most individuals.
For example
, one who has obtained a new job offer from an international company located in Brisbane might decide to move from Sydney to live there because of working convenience.
Moreover
, particularly in commuting, the company based in Brisbane might prefer the company's workforce to live in nearby areas to remote work from other cities and
this
also
benefits individual commutes in daily life as well.
Additionally
, career advancement may be a vast influence of
this
change encouraging people to relocate from their families to the new environment and society. Among drawbacks, staying away from hometown and family might mentally affect personal personality in the long term.
This
absolutely causes a long-distance relationship between family members and friends.
For instance
, having dinner with family 5 times a week may become once a week after relocating.
This
also
brings about less communication and interaction as the members of the household might not often meet each other.
To conclude
, the trend of relocating accommodation for work objectives become more popular these days, even though there are downsides to
this
circumstance. I believe that it is outweighed by the strengths of both career accomplishment and commuting convenience in the long period.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

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task response
While the essay provides a clear response to the task and presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of relocating for work, it can benefit from elaborating more on both sides of the argument. Providing more concrete examples and expanding on the points would strengthen the essay further.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized and logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be refined for better clarity and flow. Revising these areas would improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the pros and cons of relocating for work, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The use of relevant examples, such as the move from Sydney to Brisbane, adds depth to the argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • job opportunities
  • job market
  • salaries
  • personal growth
  • cultural horizons
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • global perspective
  • emotional and psychological impact
  • loved ones
  • loneliness
  • homesickness
  • support network
  • long-distance relationships
  • emotional strain
  • face-to-face interactions
  • financial cost
  • housing deposits
  • travel costs
  • living expenses
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