IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show how a district park looked ten years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show how a district park looked ten years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps show the layout of a district park in 2009 and the current year.
Overall
Linking Words
, some major changes took place after 2009,
such
Linking Words
 as the development of
Cycling
Correct article usage
a Cycling
show examples
 path on the north
side
Use synonyms
 of the park, a new picnic and boating spots near the pond. The major development can be seen on the western
side
Use synonyms
 of the park where a soft play
area
Use synonyms
 is introduced near the children's play
area
Use synonyms
 and a cafe is built in the Green
area
Use synonyms
 section.
Few
Correct article usage
A few
show examples
 new sites are
also
Linking Words
 there
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the south
area
Use synonyms
, where two new sites, boating and picnic spots are developed
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 the pond. The capacity of car parking is
also
Linking Words
 increased from 20 cars in 2009 to 50 cars in
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 year. Few sites and areas
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the map remained untouched
such
Linking Words
 as the tennis courts, football ground and children's play
area
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north
side
Use synonyms
 of the map and
green
Correct article usage
the green
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 and pond on the southern
side
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, such".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words side, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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