The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
With the development of society, more and more
people
hope to reduce the working week and add more daysoff
. In Correct your spelling
days off
days-off
this
essay, I agree that we should consider reducing the working week and extend
Wrong verb form
extending
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
that
Correct word choice
so that
people
can have more opportunities to rest. The local government also
have larger
tax income from Correct article usage
a larger
this
.
First,
with a longer weekend
, many people
, especially young individuals, can have more time to take
rest, which is beneficial for Verb problem
apply
people
's physical and mental health. As we know, in many cities, a lot of people
have to work until midnight. This
is harmful to citizens. A longer weekend
is meaningful for people
because it allows people
to put off their work and join some activities, such
as hiking, and swimming. And this
can help people
reduce their physical problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Hence
, with a longer weekend
, people
have more opportunities to rest and live a better life.
Second,
a longer weekend
can boost economy
. In many countries, the Add an article
the economy
fastival
economy has Correct your spelling
festival
became
a crucial part of their society. Change the verb form
become
For example
, in China, people
are more willing to consume in daysoff
. Correct your spelling
days off
This
economy
Replace the word
economic
phenominon
has contributed billions of income to Correct your spelling
phenomenon
government
. Add an article
the government
Therefore
, a longer weekend
can have the same effect. This
can sitimulate
more Correct your spelling
stimulate
simulate
people
go
outside and consume, Fix the infinitive
to go
such
as shopping, going
for vacation, which can Correct word choice
and going
also
help many sectors to develop.
In conclusion, reducing the weekdays and extend
the weekends have Wrong verb form
extending
much
advantages, whether for residents or governments. I completely agree with Change the quantifier
many
this
thought because we can have a better life and make more money from it.Submitted by universe.edge on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to connect sentences seamlessly.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'daysoff' and 'phenominon,' to increase clarity. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
task achievement
While your main points are clear, adding more detailed and varied examples can make your argument stronger and more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with a proper introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the writer's stance.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas that respond well to the task prompt.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, like the reference to China's festival economy, adds relevance and concreteness to your arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.