IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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For decades, many regions
follow
Wrong verb form
have followed
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 the pattern of five working
days
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 and a two-day weekend.
However
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, there is an ongoing debate about extending the
weekends
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while
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shorten
Change the verb form
shortening
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 the working weeks. In my view, I firmly support
this
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 opinion.
Firstly
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, extending
weekends
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 can boost economic development by encouraging consumer spending.
It is clear that
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 consumption plays a key role in
economy
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the economy
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. If
weekends
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 are longer, many more
people
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 will spend their free time shopping, watching
movie
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movies
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, and
traveling
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travelling
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, similar to what happens in China's Labor Day holidays. With the consumption rise, numerous industries
such
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 as retail, exhibition, and tourism can
benifit
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benefit
. As a
resault
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result
, these sectors may hire more workers and help increase employment rates.
Therefore
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, extending
weekends
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 is a wise and beneficial step for social and economic growth.
Secondly
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, reducing working
days
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 can enhance
people
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's welfare. Nowadays, a lot of
people
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 suffer from prolonged working hours.
For instance
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, in China, many employees in tech companies are following the "996" schedule, meaning that working from 9 am to 9 pm, six
days
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 a week.
Such
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 high-pressure working environments often lead to various health
conditons
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conditions
,
such
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 as
lower-back
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lower back
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 pain. Reducing working
days
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 can alleviate these issues.
Additionally
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,
people
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 can allocate more time to their family or personal development, which
also
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 can improve their productivity in the companies.
Thus
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, reducing working
days
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 is a positive progress both for
people
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 and companies. In conclusion, a shorter working week and a longer weekend not only benefit economic growth but
also
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 humans'
overall
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 well-being.
This
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 change can bring a better and more sustainable future for society.

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task achievement
Ensure all supporting arguments are explicitly stated with clear connections to the main thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure for enhanced readability.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor spelling errors, such as 'benifit' which should be 'benefit' and 'resault' which should be 'result'.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, supported by relevant arguments.
task achievement
The use of examples, particularly referring to China's Labor Day holidays, effectively illustrates your points.
coherence and cohesion
The overall organization of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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