The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend

With the development of society, more and more

people

hope to reduce the working week and add more

daysoff

Correct your spelling

days off

days-off

. In

this

essay, I agree that we should consider reducing the working week and

extend

Wrong verb form

extending

show examples

weekend

Fix the agreement mistake

weekends

show examples

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

people

can have more opportunities to rest. The local government

also

have

larger

Correct article usage

a larger

show examples

tax income from

this

First,

with a longer

weekend

, many

people

, especially young individuals, can have more time to

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

rest, which is beneficial for

people

's physical and mental health. As we know, in many cities, a lot of

people

have to work until midnight.

This

is harmful to citizens. A longer

weekend

is meaningful for

people

because it allows

people

to put off their work and join some activities,

such

as hiking, and swimming. And

this

can help

people

reduce their physical

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

Hence

, with a longer

weekend

people

have more opportunities to rest and live a better life.

Second,

a longer

weekend

can boost

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

. In many countries, the

fastival

Correct your spelling

festival

economy has

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

a crucial part of their society.

For example

, in China,

people

are more willing to consume in

daysoff

Correct your spelling

days off

This

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

phenominon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

has contributed billions of income to

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

Therefore

, a longer

weekend

can have the same effect.

This

can

sitimulate

Correct your spelling

stimulate

simulate

people

Fix the infinitive

to go

show examples

outside and consume,

such

as shopping,

going

Correct word choice

and going

show examples

for vacation, which can

also

help many sectors to develop. In conclusion, reducing the weekdays and

extend

Wrong verb form

extending

show examples

the weekends have

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

advantages, whether for residents or governments. I completely agree with

this

thought because we can have a better life and make more money from it.

Submitted by universe.edge on Fri Aug 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to connect sentences seamlessly.

task achievement

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'daysoff' and 'phenominon,' to increase clarity. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.

task achievement

While your main points are clear, adding more detailed and varied examples can make your argument stronger and more convincing.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear structure with a proper introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the writer's stance.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas that respond well to the task prompt.

relevant specific examples

The use of specific examples, like the reference to China's festival economy, adds relevance and concreteness to your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
burnout
motivation
mental well-being
work-life balance
job satisfaction
pollution levels
traffic congestion
consumer spending
economic implications
leisure and service sectors

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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main course of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctry. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+