The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend

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With the development of society, more and more

people

Use synonyms

hope to reduce the working week and add more

daysoff

Correct your spelling

days off

days-off

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I agree that we should consider reducing the working week and

extend

Wrong verb form

extending

show examples

Use synonyms

weekend

Fix the agreement mistake

weekends

show examples

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

people

Use synonyms

can have more opportunities to rest. The local government

also

Linking Words

have

larger

Correct article usage

a larger

show examples

tax income from

this

Linking Words

First,

Linking Words

with a longer

weekend

Use synonyms

, many

people

Use synonyms

, especially young individuals, can have more time to

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

rest, which is beneficial for

people

Use synonyms

's physical and mental health. As we know, in many cities, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

have to work until midnight.

This

Linking Words

is harmful to citizens. A longer

weekend

Use synonyms

is meaningful for

people

Use synonyms

because it allows

people

Use synonyms

to put off their work and join some activities,

such

Linking Words

as hiking, and swimming. And

this

Linking Words

can help

people

Use synonyms

reduce their physical

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, with a longer

weekend

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

have more opportunities to rest and live a better life.

Second,

Linking Words

a longer

weekend

Use synonyms

can boost

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

. In many countries, the

fastival

Correct your spelling

festival

economy has

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

a crucial part of their society.

For example

Linking Words

, in China,

people

Use synonyms

are more willing to consume in

daysoff

Correct your spelling

days off

This

Linking Words

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

phenominon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

has contributed billions of income to

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, a longer

weekend

Use synonyms

can have the same effect.

This

Linking Words

can

sitimulate

Correct your spelling

stimulate

simulate

people

Use synonyms

Fix the infinitive

to go

show examples

outside and consume,

such

Linking Words

as shopping,

going

Correct word choice

and going

show examples

for vacation, which can

also

Linking Words

help many sectors to develop. In conclusion, reducing the weekdays and

extend

Wrong verb form

extending

show examples

the weekends have

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

advantages, whether for residents or governments. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

thought because we can have a better life and make more money from it.

Submitted by universe.edge on Fri Aug 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to connect sentences seamlessly.

task achievement

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'daysoff' and 'phenominon,' to increase clarity. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.

task achievement

While your main points are clear, adding more detailed and varied examples can make your argument stronger and more convincing.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear structure with a proper introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the writer's stance.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas that respond well to the task prompt.

relevant specific examples

The use of specific examples, like the reference to China's festival economy, adds relevance and concreteness to your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
burnout
motivation
mental well-being
work-life balance
job satisfaction
pollution levels
traffic congestion
consumer spending
economic implications
leisure and service sectors

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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The below gives information about rail transport in four counties in 2007

do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweight the disadvantages?

Most have forgotten the meanig behind traditional or religious festivals. During festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?