Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?
Currently, most human beings prefer to become entrepreneurs, compared to working for a factory or other companies. There are some causes
likewise
flexible working and they would be spending more time with their family than jobs on the office. While
,
some drawbacks are businesses not successful because of lack of Remove the comma
apply
experience
.
Two main points are that people
want to be businesspeople, the first one is flexible occupation, However
, they will work wherever they are; for example
, people
can start working at home. As a result
, they can spend more time with their family than officer workers. The second one, linked to the first,
is most people
find difficult jobs. After that, they finished studying at the university many jobs
vacancies Change the noun form
job
are
not available, Wrong verb form
were
therefore
they decided to make the
small and medium enterprises to support the economy family, Correct article usage
apply
such
as online businesses. For
this
reason, many people
want to be self-employed.
On the other hand
, there some drawbacks are people
to becoming business
owners. First of all, they lack experience
. However
, most people
are not successful in their businesses because they do not know what costumers
need. Correct your spelling
customers
Consequently
, they will be bankrupt because of minimal experience
in the system business
. However
, before they become a founder; they must job to learn. for example
, marketing knowledge is very crucial to overcome failure in a business
.
To sum up
, The are several reasons why people
want to become business
owners because it is flexible working and they spend most of their time with their family members. Nevertheless
, this
has a negative impact because they will not be successful because of lack
Correct article usage
a lack
experience
.Change preposition
of experience
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly differentiate between the two parts of the question in your essay: reasons for self-employment and the disadvantages. This will help ensure a complete response.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will make your ideas more comprehensive and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use clear and varied sentence structures to enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using appropriate linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and gives an overview of the points to be discussed. Well done!
complete response
You have made a decent effort to address both the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages. Your ideas are relevant to the topic.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...