The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph compares the consumption of electric units on a typical summer and winter
day
, and the pie chart illustrates the proportions of electricity used in various electronic appliances.
Overall
, it can be observed that the demand for electric power is significantly lower
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the summer
day
. Meanwhile, the heating system for homes consumed the most amount of electricity. Looking at the line graph, the total units consumed at the start of the
day
were around 35k and nearly 16k for
winters
and
summers
, respectively. The figure for
summers
remains stable from 6 to 9,
while
for
winters
it declined to nearly 30k.
However
, between 6 and 9, the figures for both increase sharply; the units increase to 40k for
winters
and 20k for
summers
.
While
the demand for power in the
summers
remains relatively stable in the later hours of the
day
, for the
winters
, it reaches its peak at nearly 45k.
On the other hand
, the pie charts show that nearly 52.5% of electricity is used in the heating systems of British homes.
Additionally
, the kitchen appliances and entertainment devices each used 15% of the total power.
Finally
, the proportion for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electrical tools accounted for 17.5%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words day, k, winters, summers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.

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