With the advent of stream services online , fewer people go to the movie theater to see films what what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Online services
is
one of the Change the verb form
are
fast
developing Correct word choice
apply
technology
nowadays, which Change to a plural noun
technologies
was
the reason behind people preferring to watch movies online rather than Wrong verb form
is
going
to the theatre. Wrong verb form
go
This
essay will be discussing
the benefits and drawbacks of Wrong verb form
discuss
this
drift.
On the one hand, more individuals tend to watch films online due to
, the fact that it is more convenient to
them. Change preposition
for
For example
, it is easy access
, available resource all the time without restrictions, and no need to dress up or drive your car in order to reach the cinema. Add the particle
to access
In addition
, it
does not need Correct pronoun usage
one
special
ticket to watch it, all films are available for free for all age groups.
Add an article
a special
While
Correct word choice
On
on the other hand
, it denied people from
an extraordinary experience. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, watching the movie in
a giant screen with tremendous speakers Change preposition
on
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
uplift
your Correct subject-verb agreement
uplifts
feeling
to the extent that you feel living inside the movie. Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
Moreover
, the availability of such
services had a fundamental effect in
Change preposition
on
peoples
wasting their time, Fix the agreement mistake
people
while
spending long hours watching a
film after another, reaching the level of addiction.
In conclusion, watching online Correct determiner usage
one
had
a good side Wrong verb form
has
with
making life simpler. Change preposition
to
However
it Add a comma
However,
also
affected people negatively by time wasting
and enjoyment deprivation.Add a hyphen
time-wasting
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the transitions between points can be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Your response adequately addresses the prompt, but it can be made more comprehensive by elaborating on your points further. Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph fully develops one main idea with supporting details. Some points feel underdeveloped and would benefit from further elaboration.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The main points of the essay are relevant to the prompt and provide a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of online streaming services.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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