Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but others believe it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Some
people
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
government
to fully fund Add an article
the government
on
facilities Change preposition
apply
such
as hospitals and schools while
others believe that it is an individual responsibility to pay for themselves to enjoy the benefits from such
organisations. However
, I firmly believe that governing bodies should take
be responsible for Verb problem
apply
the take
care of their citizens by offering free Wrong verb form
taking
services
to them.
Government
bodies are the strongest authority that runs the whole country
and therefore
, hold a
power to support Correct article usage
the
free of cost
Add a hyphen
free-of-cost
services
in healthcare and to educate their flourishing population. People
living in the country
tend to pay heavy taxes from their daily wages every month to the government
and consequently
, it becomes the governing bodies a
core responsibility to serve their nation by organising free health camps for all Correct article usage
apply
people
living in urban and countryside and also
eleminating
the hospital charges. Correct your spelling
eliminating
Moreover
, from an economic perspective, these authorities need to implement free teaching services
in all schools so that more and more number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
will get educated and it will further
help the country
in getting
more developed.
Verb problem
become
On the other hand
, some encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
people
to spend their own money for using health and educational services
instead
force authorities to invest their funds in improving public transports
. Many Fix the agreement mistake
transport
people
prefer to use private vehicles because of its
convenience, if Correct pronoun usage
their
government
can impart their sum in making buses and Add an article
the government
train
more comfortable, fast and reliable Correct subject-verb agreement
trains
then
people
would start travelling by such
means which will further
solve many ongoing issues in the country
. However
, according to
me investing on
Change preposition
in
health
and education of Correct article usage
the health
people
should be considered more essential.
To conclude
, although
spending money on public transportation will help the resident
to travel in a more convenient way, I believe that the development of the Fix the agreement mistake
residents
country
should be taken into account at
the utmost priority.Change preposition
as
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coherence cohesion
Maintain a clearer logical structure throughout the essay. Ensure that ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide evidence for your claims.
task achievement
Make sure to address both views more comprehensively. Currently, the discussion of one perspective (individual responsibility) is shorter and less detailed than the other.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated, which helps in framing the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers both views, which shows an understanding of the topic's requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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