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Band 5

There are so many advantages of learning a second language. People can travel and have a job by learning languages.

#second #language #people #travel #job #languages
Firstly
, the most useful part of learning
languages
 is that if
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 and
speak
Change the verb form
speaks
show examples
 clearly in a second
language
travel
Correct subject-verb agreement
travels
show examples
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
 country that
person
 can easily make
friends
 there. Because if you know that country's
language
, you can easily talk with local people and you won't have any challenges with talking.
As a result
, you can make lots of
friends
 and your
friends
 can help you
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every time. But the most important advantage is that you can make your worldview bigger and bigger. Of course,
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 worldview is very useful for everybody.
For example
, if
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
 French that
person
 doesn't have to
afraid
Add a missing verb
be afraid
show examples
 of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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France
Change preposition
to France
show examples
. Because that man
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
 and can easily talk with
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new friends
a new friend
show examples
friends
. But
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another opportunity of learning a second
language
 is that people who know a lot of
languages
 can easily find a job.
For example
, nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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need
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
workers who can work as a
translator
. They have lots of
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 with different countries
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 companies
need
Add the particle
to need
show examples
 a
translator
. And
person
 who
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 plenty of
languages
 can work as a
translator
.
As a consequence
, that
person
 can earn so much money. Because lack of
translator
 is the biggest problem for popular companies and so people who work as a
translator
 can get
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 salary. And it is one of the advantages of learning
languages
.  As a conclusion, we have to learn
languages
 completely to achieve our goals. In my view, there are
this
 type of advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learning a second
language
. And all of them are very useful for everybody.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure clear organization of ideas. Use paragraph breaks effectively to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion with more robust statements that summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Expand your points with additional specific examples and details to support your arguments more thoroughly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the advantages of learning a second language in travel and employment contexts.
task achievement
The main points are clear and relevant, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which gives it a complete structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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