IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter • explain your situation • describe your problems • tell him/her when you think you can start. You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own address.

#minutes #job #week #employer #situation #address
Dear Collins, I have to kindly apologize
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I am not able to start the next week at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work. I was so
exicted
Correct your spelling
excited
 and prepared. Unfortunately, my younger daughter had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
surgery the
last
 Wednesday. I had to stay with her at home and take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 her
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 next two weeks. My husband is on his business trip
this
 and next week and
then
 we will
swich
Correct your spelling
switch
.
However
, I think that I will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to start on
24th
Correct article usage
the 24th
show examples
 of September. I know
that is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 different situation, but my daughter needs me. Hopefully, you will accept my request. Thank you very much for your understanding Kind regards Andrea Kroupa
Submitted by andrea.kroupova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your letter achieves the task well, but make sure to provide details in a clear structure: explain the situation more explicitly (such as mentioning when you were supposed to start), and consider expressing gratitude for the employer's understanding in the final paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your letter generally flows well, but consider organizing it more clearly. Try to keep each paragraph to a single main idea. For instance, separate the explanation of your daughter’s surgery from the logistics of your husband's business trip.
communication skills
Your greeting and closing are both appropriate and polite, helping to establish a professional tone in your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • apologies
  • commencement date
  • postpone
  • urgent matters
  • documentation
  • commitment
  • flexibility
  • adjustments
  • reassurance
  • eager to contribute
  • rectify the situation
  • feasible start date
  • collaboration
  • understanding
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: