IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the number of employees and factory producing silk in England and Wales between 1851 and 1901

The table shows the number of employees and factory producing silk in England and Wales between 1851 and 1901
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The table
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information about the amount of
workers
Use synonyms
 and
silk
Use synonyms
 industrials in the UK and Wales every ten years from 1851 to 1901.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of both male and female
workers
Use synonyms
 experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend.
While
Linking Words
 the
silk
Use synonyms
 industries
considerable increase
Replace the word
considerably increased
show examples
. In 1851, the
number
Use synonyms
 of male
workers
Use synonyms
 was around 53.964.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of female
workers
Use synonyms
 was around 76.786 higher than
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 approximately by 20 and
net
Correct article usage
the net
show examples
 of both
workers
Use synonyms
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 130.750. After that, the figure of male and female
workers
Use synonyms
 gradually increased until 1891. The
number
Use synonyms
 of male
workers
Use synonyms
 slightly increased but back to go down in 1901.
While
Linking Words
 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 women
workers
Use synonyms
 and the amount of both genders
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 a downward trend throughout the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
silk
Correct article usage
the silk
show examples
 industrial dramatically increased approximately by 500 in the first decade before
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 between 1861 and 1881 around 761, 693, and 702 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 twenty
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
silk
Use synonyms
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
 experienced
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
 to 623
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, silk, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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