IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, many parents and other people believe that reading
books
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such
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 as stories is more effective for young minors than being engaged with programs on TV or games.In my opinion, I completely agree that children must spend more time reading
books
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.I will discuss my views in the following paragraphs,concluding with a suitable summary.
Firstly
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, reading
books
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 will improve and develop their reading skills and
also
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 speaking skills.As we know
that
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apply
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reading and speaking are
one
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apply
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of
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apply
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essential competencies in every child's life
especially
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, especially
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 when they are in school and
then
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 going to a high level which is University.
For instance
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,
although
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 reading and oral communication are taught in schools,many
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of
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them are still until now not interested in reading and they have a
leak
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lack
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 of communication with others especially outside of school, as they feel is
boring
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a boring
the boring
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 habit to do.
Therefore
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,when reading begins as a habit at an early age, young kids will clearly improve their speed in reading and good skill oration.
Secondly
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, stories cultivate creativity and
imagination
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. children who read narratives will encounter many different characters and events giving them the opportunity to be in another world full of their own
imagination
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.
For example
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, many scientists say that youngsters who spend more time
in peruse
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perusing
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books
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 become emotionally intelligent and recognize and understand their own feelings and the feelings of others.
Therefore
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, the freedom of
imagination
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 can not be obtained through TV shows or
while
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 playing games.
To sum up
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, I strongly my position that reading has a number of advantages for the young generation for improving in every expect of their life
such
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 as in reading and speaking.
Also
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 developing their personality in creativity and
imagination
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.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the argument is fully developed with more relevant specific examples. This will provide a deeper analysis and support your position more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion. Use topic sentences to introduce main ideas and ensure logical progression between points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical consistency and sentence structure. Minor errors are present which slightly hinder readability. Proofread your essay to catch these issues.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the author's position and maintains it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion which provides a clear structure.
coherence cohesion
The points regarding the development of reading and speaking skills and the cultivation of creativity and imagination are relevant and logical.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • imagination stimulation
  • linguistic skills
  • audiovisual stimuli
  • interactive learning
  • digital literacy
  • solitary engagement
  • narrative comprehension
  • educational content
  • screen time
  • attention span
  • multimedia experiences
  • well-rounded development
  • motor skills
  • traditional versus modern
  • balanced approach
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