Expert say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with their family and friends, whereas, now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?
In the past, older
people
were more happy
and Correct word choice
happier
healthy
, it was said Replace the word
healthier
by
the expert. The causes of Change preposition
to
this
because
they Add a missing verb
are because
did
frequently Verb problem
apply
work-out
and Correct your spelling
work out
spent
most of their Wrong verb form
spend
time
along
with their loved ones, Change preposition
apply
such
as family and friends
. The condition is different now, they face loneliness and health issues. One of possible
roots of Add an article
the possible
this
problem due to
technology
and the solution is by
bring the old habits, like exercise and Change preposition
to
have
quality Wrong verb form
having
time
with their family and friends
.
To begin
with, technology
makes people
lazy to move because they have rely
on Fix the infinitive
to rely
technology
excessively. For example
, my friend's grandparents tend to choose laying
on their beds all day and Change the verb form
to lay
playing
handphone Change the verb form
to play
instead
of go
out with their relatives. For them, it is more interesting to interact with their Change the verb form
going
friends
using handphone
without Correct article usage
a handphone
face-to face-interactions
. Not only that, but Correct your spelling
face-to-face interactions
also
by laying on beds all the time
indicates their body is not as good as when they still
young. Add a missing verb
are still
To conclude
, technology
is giving
negative impacts Verb problem
having
for
older Change preposition
on
people
.
To tackle this
case, older people
must be encourage
to do Change the verb form
be encouraged
sport
activities they like and more focus on their family and Change the noun form
sports
friends
. For instance
, my parents
always engaged my grandmother to walk every morning. By this
, my grandmother not only move
her body but Wrong verb form
moved
also
spending
much Wrong verb form
spent
time
with my parents
. At some moments, my grandmother and her friends
walking around in the park. It is a good thing to
others to engage their Change preposition
for
parents
(old people
) to
doing some Change preposition
in
activites
so they will not feel lonely.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
activities
technology
has bad impacts for
health and Change preposition
on
make
old Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
suffer from loneliness. To solve this
problem, young people
can engage their parents
to do some sport
activities together.Change the noun form
sports
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to clearly separate sentences and ideas to improve readability. There were instances where the sentence structure made it challenging to follow the logic and main points.
task achievement
To further improve your essay, introduce more specific examples and deeper analysis to strengthen your arguments. This will help provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and provides a clear response by identifying causes and solutions related to the issues older people are facing today compared to the past.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument and understand the writer's perspectives.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...