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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion.

#people #gap #year #school #university #idea #debate
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The choice of university is generally difficult, and gap years are becoming increasingly popular.
This
 choice continues to be controversial because its benefits are hard to quantify exactly. There are arguments on both sides of
this
 very typical debate, and I will discuss them now. The main reason is the
fact
 that
students
 do not have much
time
 to choose. In
fact
, many of them decide to study something they do not really like, and they end up changing after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 months from the start.
This
 is one of the reasons why some people think that
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 university
at the end
 of the school is a good idea. In
fact
, with a gap
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
students
 may have enough
time
 to understand what they want to do.
For example
, they can find a job to discover what
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 like doing but
also
 to become more independent from their parents. With
this
time
 the possibility of choosing wrongly is significantly reduced.
On the other hand
, others believe that a gap year between school and university is never a good choice.
Firstly
,
according to
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
 it is a waste of
time
. In
fact
, many
students
 are not mature enough to understand the possibility they have and so they use
this
 period in the wrong way, only relaxing and having fun.
In addition
, if you stop studying and your focus goes away,
il
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 will not be easy to restart because you will face more difficulties.
Overall
, I
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 that taking a break from studies is not a good idea. Most of the
time
, it is just an excuse for
students
 who
do not want to work neither
Rewrite the sentence
do not want to work either
want to work neither
show examples
 to study.
In addition
, I believe that if you choose the wrong way, you will always be able to change.
Submitted by ballotta.sofi on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This would make your essay more persuasive and relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are clearly elaborated. Some points feel briefly mentioned and could benefit from further development.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-structured, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smoother. This can help improve the overall flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good overview of the essay's main points.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, which enhances readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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