Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those relate to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
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grammar
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. For example, 'houman resouse' should be 'human resource,' and 'atleast' should be 'at least.'
structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with a strong introduction and conclusion. The current essay lacks a clear conclusion, and the introduction could be more engaging.
coherence
Improve the coherence by linking your ideas with appropriate conjunctions or transitional phrases. For example, use words like 'therefore,' 'however,' or 'furthermore' to connect your sentences and paragraphs.
content
Your essay does an effective job discussing the problem and its impact on your work, which makes it clear why you are requesting urgent assistance.
examples
The examples you provided, such as missing meeting appointments and the effect on your work, make the essay relatable and impactful.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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