Professional sports person are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days professional sports person are often affected by the youth. Some folks think that they,
Nevertheless
, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. The question is, Do professional
players
have to be idolized by teenagers? In
this
essay, I am going to explain everything about
players
and feelings for the fans. In terms of (
adavntages
Correct your spelling
advantages
/positive side/ problems/causes),
players
have a big impact on people who love football or any kind of sports. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that the youth likes
this
sport and they have found the best athlete
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
sport. To illustrate,Why is the mess
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best player and the young people admire him?
In other words
, He has the best score ever in the whole world and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the world
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
him. (
However
, /
Moreover
,)Idolizing a person could have a negative effect and a positive one.
Firstly
, loving your best player more than just a football could
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your health.
In other words
, Don,t hang on someone in
this
world.
Secondly
, Loving some
players
could
also
change your life because you may just have found your passion.
This
is because you admire
this
person and you are following him step by step perhaps you are better than him but with some luck, you will acquire success. In conclusion, I highly agree that teenagers should watch and learn from old people who have
acknowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
show examples
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience in
this
field.
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance, but it would benefit from elaborating more on each point. Provide specific examples and details to fully support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your response and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the paragraphs are connected logically. Using linking words and phrases consistently can enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on each of your main points to ensure that they are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations. This will help your essay to be more thorough and less general.
task achievement
You have taken a clear position on the topic, which is essential for a strong argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure for your points.

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