Professional sports person are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

#sports #person #youth #people #responsibility #role #models #times #children

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There is no doubt that these days professional sports person are often affected by the youth. Some folks think that they,

Nevertheless

, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. The question is, Do professional

players

have to be idolized by teenagers? In

this

essay, I am going to explain everything about

players

and feelings for the fans. In terms of (

adavntages

Correct your spelling

advantages

/positive side/ problems/causes),

players

have a big impact on people who love football or any kind of sports. The main reason given to support

this

claim is that the youth likes

this

sport and they have found the best athlete

Change preposition

show examples

their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

sport. To illustrate,Why is the mess

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the best player and the young people admire him?

In other words

, He has the best score ever in the whole world and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most of the world

know

Correct subject-verb agreement

knows

show examples

him. (

However

, /

Moreover

,)Idolizing a person could have a negative effect and a positive one.

Firstly

, loving your best player more than just a football could

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your health.

In other words

, Don,t hang on someone in

this

world.

Secondly

, Loving some

players

could

also

change your life because you may just have found your passion.

This

is because you admire

this

person and you are following him step by step perhaps you are better than him but with some luck, you will acquire success. In conclusion, I highly agree that teenagers should watch and learn from old people who have

acknowledge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experience in

this

field.

Submitted by fnokgamer11 on Mon Aug 26 2024

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task achievement

Your essay has a clear stance, but it would benefit from elaborating more on each point. Provide specific examples and details to fully support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your response and make it more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the paragraphs are connected logically. Using linking words and phrases consistently can enhance the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Expand on each of your main points to ensure that they are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations. This will help your essay to be more thorough and less general.

task achievement

You have taken a clear position on the topic, which is essential for a strong argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure for your points.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweighs disadvantages?

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