It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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It is
compulsury
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compulsory
to teach children about the clear concept of
right
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and wrong
things
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which can lead them. In
this
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regardings
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regard
show examples
,
this
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was suggested by Some experts that
punishment
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is the way for
kidds
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kids
to learn the differences between
right
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and wrong.
However
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, I completely disagree
the
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with the
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former view. In my point of view, there
are
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is
show examples
more
technique
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techniques
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to teach the
childrens
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children
show examples
rather than
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punish
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punished
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punished them
show examples
. At
first,
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It’s not always appropriate that parents should give
penalty
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penalties
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to their
kidds
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kids
as they can learn from their
punishment
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. The
reasons
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reason
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is that some
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punishment
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punishments
show examples
can
detrimental
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be detrimental
show examples
for
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to
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children’s physical and mental health which can
be breake
Verb problem
break
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their
grouth
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growth
.
For instance
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, children who are in 1 to 5
standered
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standard
can not be able to
tolarate
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tolerate
any
punishment
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which
are
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is
show examples
not suitable for them at
this
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early age.
secondly
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, It could be a better action to teach them how to identify
right
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and wrong
things
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.
Also
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how to learn from their fault for their future safety as they can
more
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be more
show examples
concern
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concerned
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about the
things
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that can lead
them
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their
show examples
wrong path. Despite,
punishment
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is
Wrong verb form
being
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effective in some
situation
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situations
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, it can convert to emphasis
about
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on
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the
right
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and wrong
things
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. It should be more acceptable that teach the
kidds
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kids
about the scanning of their error from their regular action by the parents and teachers.
For example
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, In Japan, there
are
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is
show examples
a
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an
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institution
where
Correct word choice
that
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gives
Verb problem
provides
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varities of
knoledge
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knowledge
about
right
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and wrong activities by some of the expertised
peaple
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people
.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
childrens
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children
show examples
are able to more
concious
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conscious
about their activities which can lead
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right
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to right
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or wrong
. .
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.
...
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To conclude
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,
Sometime
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Sometimes
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it is a conductive way to
punished
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punish
show examples
children
due to
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their wrong steps.
Although
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it is
somhow
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somehow
effective
but
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apply
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I believe that
gives
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giving
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certain
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punishment
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punishments
show examples
to schoolers can
contradictory
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be contradictory
show examples
with
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to
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thir
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their
mental health.
Submitted by shifaakther555 on

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task achievement
Work on developing your argument more clearly. Although your main points are present, some parts of your essay are hard to understand due to grammar issues and awkward phrasing.
coherence cohesion
Improve your sentence structure and grammar. There are many instances of incorrect grammar and awkward phrasing that can make your argument difficult to follow. Try to use more varied sentence structures and ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear and logical structure for your essay. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that is supported by examples or explanations. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your opinion on the topic, and it is evident that you believe there are better methods than punishment for teaching children the difference between right and wrong.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the example of the institution in Japan.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
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