IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #features #comparisons
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The bar chart shows the percentage of British people lending donations categorized by
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of people in both years gradually increases up to a
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
age
Use synonyms
 group and decreases after.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 more
donators
Use synonyms
 in 1990 compared to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010, with few exceptions. The number of
donators
Use synonyms
 in both years showed similar patterns, they
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 and
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 after reaching a peak. In 1990,
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of charity money lenders
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 gradually until the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 36 to 50
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 slightly over 40%, and
then
Linking Words
falls
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 immediately.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 2010, the maximum point lies in the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 51 to 65 with just below 40%. The percentage of people lending donations in 1990 is higher than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
. From
age
Use synonyms
 18 to 50, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 more
donators
Use synonyms
 in 1990 than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, from
age
Use synonyms
 51 and beyond, the fraction of
Use synonyms
donators
Correct your spelling
donors
show examples
 in 1990 is less than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
.
Submitted by muhammadraditya9 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, donators with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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