IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television,microwave open and rice cooker. Do you think this is positive or negative development ?

People
Use synonyms
 are increasingly buying a variety of
household
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items
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such
Linking Words
 as
television
Fix the agreement mistake
televisions
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,
microwave
Fix the agreement mistake
microwaves
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 and rice
cooker
Fix the agreement mistake
cookers
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. I think
this
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 is a positive development because these electronic
household
Use synonyms
items
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 have made our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 comfortable and easier and they save
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
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 valuable
time
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 usually become interested in buying electronic home appliances because these products help them to do their
household
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task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 easily.
People
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, especially from the urban areas are busy as they maintain their work-life balance.
Therefore
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, in today's fast-paced life, electronic
household
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 goods help to perform
the
Correct article usage
apply
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household
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 duties without much labour and effort. It saves their energy and
people
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 can invest that
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 in other duties and even self-care.
For instance
Linking Words
, 80%
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 from the UK
, are
Verb problem
apply
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 mostly depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
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 electronic
items
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 to perform their family
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, using electronic home
items
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, save the valuable
time
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 of
people
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 because they can do their duties in a shorter period of
time
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 compared to doing the same task manually. It helps
people
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 to save and manage their
time
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 and they can do their other responsibilities in that spare
time
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA,
people
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 are getting much free
time
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 nowadays, only because they use electronic home appliances.
People
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 are happy to use
that products
Change the determiner
that product
those products
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 as they help them to save some extra
time
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 from their busy work schedule.
To conclude
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,
people
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generally
Add a missing verb
are generally
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 interested in buying electronic
household
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 because it save
time
Use synonyms
 and energy.

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task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed introduction that outlines the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use topic sentences to organize your thoughts better.
task achievement
Incorporate a few more relevant and specific examples to better support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to create smoother links between ideas and paragraphs.
overall
The essay is clear and overall well-organized, achieving a good balance between task achievement and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear end to the essay.
relevant specific examples
You provided specific contexts, such as mentioning people from urban areas or statistics from the UK and the USA, which strengthens your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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