Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion

#people #government #ban #sports #society #activities

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Risky

sports

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have spiked a debated topic for residents. Some believe that it is the government's duty to establish laws and policies that prohibit

people

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from

indulgin

Correct your spelling

indulging

such

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hazardous

acctivities

Correct your spelling

activities

While

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others argue that it is an individual's right to immerse in any desired activity.

This

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essay evaluates both views and explains why I stand at a cross-section when it comes to

this

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topic. Some

sport

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sports

show examples

activities,

such

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as boxing, feature violence, as it

invloves

Correct your spelling

involves

two players exchanging punches.

This

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can

potetially

Correct your spelling

potentially

lead to severe injuries including paralysis or death in worse cases. It is noteworthy that many

people

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practice

such

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sports

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without the necessary equipment or the supervision of a professional.

This

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has led to increased injuries, causing citizens to suggest that the government should implement laws to ban these violent

sports

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as a form of precaution.

Such

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laws will help maintain public safety.

On the other hand

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, a group of

people

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argue that it is a fundamental human right to be part of any desired activity. Participating in risky

sports

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is a deliberate choice made by

people

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who enjoy the adrenaline dosage that

such

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rides provide, making it completely legal since a person should be free to indulge in any

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sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

they want.

Moreover

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, it is

also

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believed that banning risky

sports

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Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

ristriction

Correct your spelling

restriction

of fun. I personally believe that governments shouldn't be entitled to prohibiting certain athletic activities because

this

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can be viewed in a subjective manner, as some might believe that martial arts

for instance

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is very dangerous,

while

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others believe that it is a form of self-defense and it should be taught.

Therefore

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, I think the decision

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show examples

immering

Correct your spelling

immerse

such

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activities should be left to one's own judgment. In a nutshell, despite the dangers that might accompany certain

sports

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, it should be still a personal decision to pursue it regardless of the level of risk.

Submitted by nareesakbar on Tue Aug 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which strengthens its overall structure. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, which fulfills the task response requirement. Nonetheless, providing more specific examples and evidence to support the main points would enhance the completeness of your response.

task achievement

While your ideas are clear, there are some minor spelling and grammatical errors. Make sure to proofread your work to correct inaccuracies such as 'potetially', 'invloves', 'immiring', and 'ristriction'.

task achievement

The essay successfully presents both viewpoints and offers a personal stance, reflecting a balanced treatment of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both clearly identifiable, which helps frame the essay and provide closure to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public safety
fatalities
healthcare costs
personal responsibility
freedom of choice
economic impact
tourism
sponsorships
media coverage
revenue
cultural significance
sense of community
physical health
mental health
stress relief
self-esteem
regulations
safety measures
mitigate risks
freedom of participation

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Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.