Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion
Risky
sports
have spiked a debated topic for residents. Some believe that it is the government's duty to establish laws and policies that prohibit people
from indulgin
in Correct your spelling
indulging
such
hazardous acctivities
. Correct your spelling
activities
While
others argue that it is an individual's right to immerse in any desired activity. This
essay evaluates both views and explains why I stand at a cross-section when it comes to this
topic.
Some sport
activities, Change the noun form
sports
such
as boxing, feature violence, as it invloves
two players exchanging punches. Correct your spelling
involves
This
can potetially
lead to severe injuries including paralysis or death in worse cases. It is noteworthy that many Correct your spelling
potentially
people
practice such
sports
without the necessary equipment or the supervision of a professional. This
has led to increased injuries, causing citizens to suggest that the government should implement laws to ban these violent sports
as a form of precaution. Such
laws will help maintain public safety.
On the other hand
, a group of people
argue that it is a fundamental human right to be part of any desired activity. Participating in risky sports
is a deliberate choice made by people
who enjoy the adrenaline dosage that such
rides provide, making it completely legal since a person should be free to indulge in any sports
they want. Fix the agreement mistake
sport
Moreover
, it is also
believed that banning risky sports
a
Add a missing verb
is a
ristriction
of fun.
I personally believe that governments shouldn't be entitled to prohibiting certain athletic activities because Correct your spelling
restriction
this
can be viewed in a subjective manner, as some might believe that martial arts for instance
is very dangerous, while
others believe that it is a form of self-defense and it should be taught. Therefore
, I think the decision of
Change preposition
to
immering
in Correct your spelling
immerse
such
activities should be left to one's own judgment.
In a nutshell, despite the dangers that might accompany certain sports
, it should be still a personal decision to pursue it regardless of the level of risk.Submitted by nareesakbar on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which strengthens its overall structure. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, which fulfills the task response requirement. Nonetheless, providing more specific examples and evidence to support the main points would enhance the completeness of your response.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, there are some minor spelling and grammatical errors. Make sure to proofread your work to correct inaccuracies such as 'potetially', 'invloves', 'immiring', and 'ristriction'.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both viewpoints and offers a personal stance, reflecting a balanced treatment of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly identifiable, which helps frame the essay and provide closure to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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