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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The chart illustrates the duration of the total number of telephone calls in billions of minutes which were divided into three categories, local-fixed
line
, national and
international - fixed
Correct your spelling
international-fixed
show examples
line
 and
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
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all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
calls, in the UK, between 1995 and 2002. In the local - fixed
line
, the
numbers
 increased from 70
billion
 in 1995 to 90
billion
 in 1999, making it the highest phone call made.
However
, from 1999 to 2002 the
numbers
 lowered steadily from 90
billion
 and returned to 70
billion
 just like in 1995. The national and international - fixed
line
 started
under
Change preposition
at under
show examples
 40
billion
 in 1995, but soon the
numbers
 gradually rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to approximately 60
billion
 by the year 2002.
On the other hand
, the total duration from cell phones in 1995 was around 3 - 4
billion
, making mobiles
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest
phone
Correct quantifier usage
number of phone
show examples
 call made in the UK. By 2002, the
numbers
 grew dramatically to around 42
billion
. In conclusion,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the national and international - fixed
line
 and calls from cell phones had the same upward trend between 1995 to 2002, but both of them were still lower compared to the local - fixed
line
 which though the
numbers
 decreased in 2002
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was still the highest.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, numbers, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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