Write about the following topic: The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#topic #percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend

Over the ten years, western societies have seen close to 20% rise in the number of

children

who are overweight.

This

essay will discuss some reasons why

this

has

occured

Correct your spelling

occurred

and examine the consequences of

this

worrying trend. The main cause of

this

problem is

increased

Correct article usage

the increased

show examples

consumption of processed

foods

. Many

children

consume

hight

Correct your spelling

high

show examples

colorie

Correct your spelling

calorie

low nutrient

Add a hyphen

low-nutrient

show examples

foods

like sugary snacks, fast food and sodas. these

foods

are often cheaper and more readily available. When

children

consume these

foods

have negative impacts

Change preposition

show examples

health . Overweight

children

are at higher risk for developing conditions

such

as type 2 diabetes, hypertension,

hight

Correct your spelling

high

show examples

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

, and sleep apnea.

for

Capitalize word

For

show examples

example, many

children

now spend a significant amount of time on screens, which reduces their time for physical activity. Sedentary behaviours are

assoiciated

Correct your spelling

associated

with lower energy expenditure and can contribute to weight

again

Correct your spelling

gain

show examples

. Despite these arguments, there is another factor of socioeconomic. Families with lower income may face barriers to accessing healthy

foods

and

creational

Correct your spelling

recreational

show examples

activities. For

instanse

Correct your spelling

instance

, the

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

health effects of obesity can lead to increased healthcare costs for families and the healthcare system.

To sum up

, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity

amoungst

Correct your spelling

among

children

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and a

varity

Correct your spelling

variety

of negative effects. Society must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

problem from

deterioating

Correct your spelling

deteriorating

further

Submitted by elbayevazamat on Wed Aug 28 2024

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grammar

Ensure consistency in spelling and grammar. For example, correct typographical errors like 'hight' to 'high', 'assoiciated' to 'associated', 'instanse' to 'instance', and 'detieroating' to 'deteriorating'.

development

Develop each idea further and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, when discussing sedentary behavior, you could add specific statistics or studies to solidify your point.

sentence structure

Improve on sentence structuring to enhance flow. Some sentences are fragmented and can be combined for better clarity. For example, 'When children consume these foods have negative impacts to health.' could be rewritten to 'When children consume these foods, it negatively impacts their health.'

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid structure.

task response

The essay addresses both causes and effects, ensuring a holistic response to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write about the following topic: The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause? What can be done to deal with this.

The most important aim of scence should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many parts of world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. what are the causes? how should these young criminals to be punished?

News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative?

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?