One of the challenges faced by international students is studying in Australia. Write a paragraph about some of the difficulties facing international students when they study in an Australian environment, based on your own experience and the experiences of other students in the class.
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Many overseas students in Australia face challenges related to languages and culture
while
they are studying. First,
language issues are a common problem among students. One of them is finding a new home, such
as an apartment, unit, or house for rent. It could be difficult for them. The process starts with apps for renting houses, and many should have good reading skills to present impressive applications. It ends with reading long residential contracts to accept the offer. In addition
, many students have a different background from Australians, which might cause them culture shock, which leads to several health disorders such
as anxiety and depression. In conclusion, problems such
as communication or culture shock need to be taken more seriously, and problems need to be solved.Submitted by mmlohibi on
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task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on personal or classmates' experiences to substantiate your points. For example, mention a particular instance when a language barrier caused difficulty in finding accommodation.
task response
Ensure ideas are developed clearly and comprehensively. Expanding on how culture shock affects health in detail would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try to connect the ideas more fluidly. For instance, explain clearly how language issues can directly link to cultural shocks and subsequently affect health.
task achievement
The essay addresses the given task effectively, discussing both language and cultural challenges faced by international students.
coherence and cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, establishing the main points and summarizing effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with points following a sensible order.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite