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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Men and women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#men #women #responsibilities #home #life #support
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In old times, there were big differences in
men
Use synonyms
's and
women
Use synonyms
's roles in their living styles. They didn'
t
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 have the same tasks at home or in work lives.
However
Linking Words
, in recent years, their responsibilities have become much more similar as
women
Use synonyms
 began to study at colleges and have occupations. I believe that males and females have to share their tasks to live more comfortably. It was believed that, some decades ago, the
women
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 should do housework, and the
men
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 should gain money for living. The population was low back
then
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, and a husband could fulfil all the needs of his family
while
Linking Words
 a wife was taking care of their children.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people who graduated from high school could find a job easily, and they didn'
t
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 even go to college. Most of the elder
men
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 are well educated,
while
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 their wives
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 graduated from high school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the price of living has been much higher in recent days. People have to go the college and improve themselves to get paid more because many individuals can'
t
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 find an occupation if they don'
t
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 have some special skills. Females should go to colleges and find a job even if they have children at home waiting for them
,
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apply
show examples
 because it is almost impossible to survive for a family with only one income.
Therefore
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, it can be seen that both middle-aged males and females continue to educate themselves. In conclusion, I agree with the fact that genders never share the same responsibilities.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that males should help their wives with their responsibilities at home
,
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apply
show examples
 because
women
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 share the duty of
men
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 to gain money.
Submitted by bloodylady on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on how the change in women's roles has impacted gender responsibilities. Providing additional examples or data could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear and distinct topic sentence. This can help improve the coherence and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to directly address the essay prompt. Clarify whether you agree or disagree, and ensure your conclusion matches the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint and attempts to support it with logical arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a good structure overall, with meaningful introductions and conclusions in most paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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